I was talking to my friend online last night and she was talking to a guy (Heh, online talking is a complicated thing sometimes, eh?) and he said,

    “Tell Routhier to tackle the topic of why Relena is so annoying!”

    So I started spitting off whatever came to mind and she said,

    “Routhier! You’ve been checking out too many yaoi sites!”

    …Which is probably true…

    Anyway!

    I was sitting there last night not doing a whole heck of a lot so I started to ponder this. And while I was daydreaming this morning I started pondering Relena’s role in the world. (Which was, oddly enough, accompanied by “What’s Quatre’s Grand Scheme in things?”)

    To get to the point, (Ha! Like I ever do that, eh?) I don’t really want to tackle the topic of WHY Relena is annoying… But I don’t have a problem analyzing this annoying thing and how we could help her solve it…

    These suggestions are made by a girl who watches waaaaay too much MTV and not much else on television… (May I point out that TRL reruns when I get up in the morning and waking up to Fred Durst makes for a *rather* contented Routhier…?)

    Underwear.

    Yes, Relena’s biggest problem is underwear. You see, according to commercials, chicks do absolutely everything in their underwear. And not like,

    “Well, yeah! I wear underwear all the time, else my rear end’d get cold!” No, no… More like,

    “I’m walking around with no pants on!” See, what Relena needs to do is attend some of her meetings in her underwear. Why, OZ would have followed suit a *long* time ago if they’d have been confronted by a blonde in her skivvies! 

    Pants.

    Relena never wears pants. Why is this?

    The only time you see her in anything resembling pants is when she wears that spacesuit in the last couple of episodes… Now, if you’ve ever worn a dress at Christmas when you were little and you suddenly got that itch to go out and romp in the snow and had to jab your dress into the already uncomfortable mess we call snowpants, you know that a spacesuit does not count as pants.

    However, this does answer another question:

    Why was Relena so heck-bent on getting to Heero while she was in her spacesuit?

    Easy!

    She figured Heero would want to rip that baby off of her, thus releasing her skirt from the confines of being jabbed in around her legs. (Heh, going with this theory, that skirt wouldn’t have been on very long either… Or, it would have been hiked up… But I’m going off tangent now!) 

    Colour Scheme.

    The girl is always in pastels. Now, from extensive hours of music video watching, I can tell you the absolute perfect colour scheme: White and black with bad lighting.

    Oh yeah! Watch a video and you’ll see some gal, scantily clad (i.e. her underwear), running around in bad lighting. The picture will be out of focus, she’ll be in white, the background will be black, and the lighting will make everything look blue.

    Wouldn’t Relena look pretty schweet like this? You could mess up her hair a tad, run her mascara, throw her in non-pastel clothing, and suddenly you’ve got Duo checking her out left and right!

    (Hey wait! That’s not right! Duo’s mine! Ack! Relena! Shoo shoo! Go put on some pastels and a skirt or something and let go of my Duo!!!)