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It's Gotta Be the Hair


By Tsunami Goddess Routhier


     Trowa sits on the beanbag at the foot of the bed flipping channels waiting for the commercial break of TRL to get over.


     “Hey!” he yelps out, making Quatre jump. Quatre glances over from being sprawled out on the bed playing with his new PlayStation2 on the flat screen TV on the other wall and grunts.


     “What the heck is this???”


     “What?” Quatre grunts, hitting the pause button.


     “Look!”


     “That’s my dad.”


     Trowa makes a “duh” motion. He’s stumbled across the episode of Gundam Wing where Quatre’s pop gets knocked off, leading the way for the ever-loved “breathing episode.”


     “Yeah! But look!!!” yelps Trowa, making frantic gestures towards Quatre’s dad’s hair. Duo, who just happens to by walking by (In all actuality, he was coming to see if Quatre was around or not in hopes that he could swipe the PS2. By swiping it, if he breaks it, there’s no witnesses…) wanders in, attracted by the frantic gesturing.


     “Whazzagonin’on?”


     Trowa and Quatre glance at him trying to figure out what he just said and go back to the TV.


     “Look at the guy’s hair! It’s long! And it’s over one eye!”


     “Yeah?” Quatre asks, not following.


     “Ha!” Duo says proudly. “I get it! It’s a Freudian thing! Look! Your dad is mad at you for running off with a Gundam so in an attempt to gain his love, you go after people with long hair over one eye!”


     “I do not!” Quatre exclaims.


     “Sure you do!” Trowa yelps, grabbing his laptop and bringing up a whole slew of fanfics. “Look!” he starts pointing at the summaries.


     “ ‘Quatre and Trowa’, ‘Quatre and Noin’, ‘Trowa and Quatre’, ‘Quatre and Trowa’, ‘Noin and Quatre’… What the heck??? Does *everyone* think I have a hair fetish???”


     “Hey!” comes a grunt from behind. Duo stands up from being hunched over Trowa’s shoulder, Trowa turns around from the screen, and Quatre is still glancing at the paused shot of Parasite Eve 2. “You think *that’s* bad, they keep hooking me up with Duo! You can’t even *comprehend* a hair fetish until you read some of those 2x1 and 1x2s!”


     Heero walks in and hits a button on the laptop and brings up page after page of “Heero and Duo” stories.


     “Oh heck no! I don’t even want to *hear* it!” The four of them turn around and get a shocked look on their face.


     “Zechs?!?!”


     “Hey! I never get a good part in any of these Rambles. Let me in for a sec.” He grunts and sits down on the edge of the bed, knocking Quatre’s PS2 controller off the side. The pause button gets hit and the game fritzes out.


     “ACK!” Quatre yelps, flying for it.


     “Anyway! Everyone seems to be obsessed with my hair too! What is it about hair and this show???… Hey Quatre, is PE2 even made for the PS2?”


     “How the heck do I know?” Quatre yelps from under the bed. “I’m just put in these situations! I don’t know how I got here!”


     “Heh heh,” Duo elbows Trowa. “How many times you hear that?”


     “Can you even imagine the size of the hairballs we’d find in the shower drains if even half these stories were true?” Dorothy asks, wandering in.


     “DOROTHY CATALONIA???” the five of them yelp. (Quatre’s yelp being a tad muffled, given that he’s under the bed trying to find where his controller went.)


     “What happened to security?!?!?” Heero yelps.


     “Oh? Wuchan?” Dorothy asks. “He’s a tad preoccupied.” * * * * * *


     Wufei is sitting by the front door where’s he’s supposed to be making sure no one breaks into the safe house…getting a lap dance from Hilde who grunts,


     “Hey. I haven’t got a whole heck of a lot of hair under this tam. I haven’t got anything to do with this plot.” Wufei grunts, but it’s a little less understandable than Hilde’s grunt. * * * * * *


     “Anyway,” Dorothy says, walking in and sitting down next to Zechs. “Can you imagine the stock prices of Herbal Essences shampoo and Draino if we were all as fettishized towards hair as these authors make us out to be?” Duo leans over to Trowa and whispers,


     “Is fettishized even a word?” Trowa smacks Duo and yelps,


     “Is whazzagonin’on a word?!?!”


     “I don’t know *what* you’re all complaining about!” a loud voice pronounces from the other room.


     “At least you guys have hair that’s respected! It’s strange, but you guys are anime drawings so it’s okay!” Another voice pronounces,


     “Why, when they drew me, they must’ve been watching Princess Laya!” Both Sally Po and Lady Une walk into the room.


     “I found it!” Quatre yelps from under the bed and jumps up, only to smack his head on the bed frame.


     “Heh heh!” Duo laughs, elbowing Trowa. “How often does *that* happen?”


     “ACK!” Trowa yelps, smacking Duo again.


     “Hey… Why are we all here?” Heero finally asks.


     “Well I came for the free snacks,” Zechs, Dorothy, Sally, and Une say at the same time.


     “What free snacks?” Duo asks, suddenly hungry.


     “Well, Wuchan wasn’t watching the door, so we raided your fridge.”


     “What the hell???” Heero yelps. “Does this house have ‘sugarfic’ written all over it or something today?!?!?”


     “I just want to play with my PlayStation2! I was in line for eight hours for this stupid thing!” Quatre screams, shoving everyone out of the room.


     “I just wanted to see Fred Durst on TRL!” Trowa grumpily groans, grabbing the remote. “ACK! I missed them! I missed Limp Bizkit for this argument! What’s up with that?!?!” * * * * * *


     Just in case you’re wondering where this came from, I was watching Gundam Wing on Saturday and it came to me. (That’s what Ramen Noodles and Wuchan will do to a girl…) Also, for like two weeks now, I’ve caught Limp Bizkit on TRL every time I’ve watched it before school… Hee-hee! Maybe I should have waited until Endless Waltz came out before I wrote another Ramble like I had originally intended!


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