While attending the weekly forced ritual today, the man up front mentioned fairy tales and began talking about “The Princess and the Pea”. Well this got me thinking of the fact that a group of us have all tied various food items to the pilots… With Wufei being associated to peas. It’s a long story, but just go with the idea that peas are a good thing and after a summer of spending too much time pondering such things, I’ve finally gained the respect for Wufei that everyone told me I needed!

     So I started thinking of the story of “The Princess and the Pea” in which the Prince’s parents won’t let him get hooked up until he finds a girl that is able to feel a tiny pea under one hundred mattresses. Now, I always thought this was interesting that the parents would actually encourage the Prince to bring his random collection of significant others home to spend the night… And after watching the chick from “Jefferson Airplane” explain the lyrics of “White Rabbit” last night, I *really* gotta wonder why this point hasn’t been lingered on by various “Save Our Children!” groups…

     But that’s not the point! The point is, the Prince finally gets to marry a girl (sloppy seconds?) who feels the pea under all the mattresses. When the man up front said, “Well I don’t know about you, but I’d never feel a pea!” I started thinking about Wufei…

     I really do believe that I wouldn’t be able to sleep if Wufei had been snuck under my mattresses. Basically all night I’d be hearing the never-ending torment of, “You’re weak woman! Why are you even here to begin with? Why in the hell are you sleeping on one hundred mattresses and why did they put me here? Why can’t you get up, woman, and let me out?!?! It’s dark down here!” And this has me wondering how the other pilots would do under one hundred mattresses…

     Quatre’s little fingers would be poking out from the edges and he struggled to mumble, “We shouldn’t be fighting at all!” At this point, the Princess (I’m the Goddess. I guess I’ll have to assume that this is my cousin (To whom we refer to as “Polish Princess”) we’re talking about…) would roll over and say, “But I’m *not* fighting!” Then Quatre’s fingers would stop twitching and he’d mutter, “Oh! Gomen! Never mind then! Continue on!”

     Trowa would make no noise. He’d just suffer in silence. Of course, his hair would probably stab through the mattresses, and given that I sleep on a waterbed, that’d certainly be noticeable… Duo wouldn’t shut up all night. “Oh sure! I get to be on the bottom! But there’s a hundred mattresses between us! Come on girl! How much protection do you think you need?!?!” (Note how I stopped here. Being me, I thought of where else this line of thinking would go, but I don’t want to have the “Save Our Children!” people after me!)

     And Heero…

     Well, after five minutes of being held captive under a hundred mattresses, he’d just stand up and walk away, thus knocking the princess on the floor only to be covered up by the mattresses in the downfall. In the morning, the King and Queen would wander over and see two little feet sticking out from under the aftermath and say, “Hey. Is that the Wicked Witch? She’s in the wrong story! Sheesh! The people our son doesn’t bring home!”