Belongings

Heero : Choices

    Heero was typing up a report furiously on his laptop; his eyebrows furrowed deeply as he contemplated on what he had to say in his annual report. It was one of the responsibilities he had to carry out as a fellow Preventer, which had been his main occupation for the past few years. He didn't have his Gundam anymore, and soldiering was in his main list of expertise, so he decided to take the job along with his other comrades of the past war. He didn't really understand why he took it upon himself to become a Preventer and he had no further motivation in joining, accepting the preposition only because he had no choice. He had so used to orders and missions he almost couldn't decide what was the best for himself. For him, the orders and missions was his life, at least until the war ended.

    At least he could earn his own living and independence, having noone to take him under his wings. Or should he say, people were very reluctant to accept the responsibility of having him as their ward. Therefore, even at the tender age of sixteen, he was forced to fend his own life. The only job allowing him to be younger than eighteen was the Preventer, so he practically had no choice. Well, he had to live, and in order to maintain his own well being, he had to work. Right? Not that he needed someone to take care of him. He had always been alone for as long as he could remember and had taken care of himself alright. Well, most of the time, anyway.

    Except for one thing. No, one girl, a woman, he had to clarify. He had basically no place to escape from her, being herself and all, nearly driving him into insanity with her antiques. Assault by assault, she had penetrated his steel barriers of self-preservation, baring him for the world to see and stripping him of all his consciousness and logic. An occasion when he was self-driven to kill her, whether out of missions, or perhaps, out of annoyance wasn't rare, but he also found it always happened the other way around. He always ended up rescuing her again, and again, and again...

    Why?

    Why did he keep mess with his own logic?

    Why did she always survive from his own strong principle that 'obstacle must die'?

    She was Relena. A princess. A minister. A diplomat. A bold, slashing tongued woman he always encountered or saw in broadcasts of universal conferences or meeting. But she was also a girl, oh, used to be a girl, for she was now a fully-grown woman of twenty and two, who loved fashion and boys and juicy gossips.

    And a distraction. To him. Well, like now.

    Groaning, Heero saved his work and ceased his typing, slumping against the back of his chair as he massaged the bridge of his nose tiredly. His mouth formed a thin grim line. The thought of Relena had always popped up into his mind in the most inconvenient occasions, mostly when he needed his full concentration.

    After trying to get back to his work for a wasted fifteen minutes, Heero finally gave up and shut his laptop down, rising to his feet slowly, his eyes finding his way to the kitchen. Brewing a cup of coffee to satisfy his thirst, he hopped onto his kitchen counter and skimmed his surrounding in silent contemplation, his usually stern dark eyes dull as he discerned the quietness around him.

    It was mostly nice to have a quiet surrounding, but he found himself growing more and more attached to the liveliness of his comrade-at-arms. Especially Duo. His jests mostly revealed the worst in him and caused him to lose control, but he couldn't help thinking Duo's smart mouthed remarks were actually one of the most prominent factors keeping him sane as he unfolded the life before him.

    And of course, Relena.

    How long had it been since he had heard her harmonious and melodious chimes of laughter? As far as he wanted to kill Duo for turning him into an occasional laughing stock, and as far as he wanted to defy the fact he actually enjoyed the banter between them, he couldn't deny the effects Relena's laughter had bestowed upon him. Should he call it....a bless, or a curse? The first reaction would be his skin tingling uncomfortably all over, but soon a warm fuzzy feeling would pool in his mind, creating a nest of raw joy, happiness.

    And was he happy now? His apartment was on the second floor of the building, small and simple, but well furnished with a style he could simply describe as bold, bought after he had virtually taken off with his career three, four years ago. So far his military career had been excellent, and he had patched up the things left in his persona after the war.

    It wasn't easy to live in a world so different from what he knew as a little child, but he vowed he would survive even if it meant he had to reconstruct his personality. It would be most impossible to alter his personality completely, but he was currently content to think of the idea as his temporary major assignment. People had to survive, and only people with the will and the flexibility would endure in this cruel, harsh world of revolutions.

    He had worked diligently and managed to claim the position as one of Preventer's aces along with his four pilot comrades; Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, Quatre Winner and Chang Wu Fei. However, unlike the four of them, who had never considered Preventer as their main occupations, he chose to commit himself completely in the arena, while Duo chose to become a Priest, Trowa a famous Acrobat, Quatre the successor of his father's world-spread oil company and Wu Fei a college student, pursuing his dreams of becoming a scholar. Again, military was the only option for him to lead a completely different life from his old days as a terrorist, although he was also helping in Technical Department of Mobile Suit Development.

    As much as he denied it, he had been ecstatic when he had finally given a chance to reassemble his life upon a brand new foundation, although the path of career extended before him was a bit of a disappointment. He secretly wished he had known other things so he was allowed to pursue another career path, but he comprehended the reason, in any case.

    It was rather a strong argument that his skill as a soldier was formidable, and the world needed him for his skill alone, to maintain the stage of peace they had attained so far. As Relena had put a few years before, there was no such thing as true pacifism. Even peace had to be gained by wars, by all means necessary. Reluctant at first, he considered the option of going back to college, but in the end accepted the fact he was desperately needed there and resigned to the job, a sign he was now more open minded of the going-on in the world.

    Heero winced as he heard a lighting strike, followed by a loud thunder, and shook his head rapidly to shrug off the daze. As the pitter-patter of the rain echoed like musical notes as it hit the window glass, he languidly made his way toward the window, a mug of coffee in one hand. His eyes narrowed in silent observation as he lifted the flimsy material of the curtain with the back of his hand, watching as the rain hit the cemented pavement on the ground floor of his apartment in a harmonious rhythm.

    he mused, smiling.

    He shivered slightly as cold seeped into his bare skin; reality finally sank into his mind. Clad only in his jeans, he eyed himself and smirked at the insufficiency of his attire. Bare-chested, he sensed the chilly air as he moved about, causing the air around him to stir restlessly, small breeze cooling his back. Hot had preoccupied the room awhile ago; that was why he had taken off his top. But he apparently had to dig his closet for a warm pullover now.

    How ironically different he was from the Heero he had been six years ago. He smirked at the thought.

    As a teenager, he had been the entitled Perfect Soldier, cold and calculating, with an endurance of steel. Now, with him retiring from the no-so-affectionate title, he found himself being more and more spoiled by the peace and the lack of action. The effects of cold weather had apparently taken its toll on his body, these days.

    There were even times when he would just prefer lying on the bed, curling like a lazy cat, with a mug of steamy hot chocolate by his bedside table, reading some action comics or listening to soft, classical music. He didn't even know he had it in him until Relena came one day and literally forced him to listen to a composition by Dvorak, and the point had eventually triggered his love in classical music.

    Pleasure and bewilderment washed over him as he attempted to cope with the new aspects of himself. On one side he had been happy with the changes. It proved that the way to his humanity was not all too impossible as he may see at the beginning. On the other hand, he was also increasingly frightened by the fact that sometimes he didn't recognise himself anymore. Everything happened too damn fast for him.

    Lifting the corners of his mouth ever so slightly, Heero slid the window open in one quick motion, leaning forward to inhale the sweet scent of the rain; one hand rested on the edge of the windowsill as the other supported the glass firmly above his head. The drizzle was sprinkled on his bare torso as a strong icy wind gushed inside, making him clench his teeth as another shiver travelled down his spine, the hair on the his nape prickled.

    Inhaling some portion of fresh cool air, he ignored the chill and placed his bottom on the sill carefully, before finally drawing both his legs up. One hand clutched the pane above his head steadily as he maintained his balance, releasing it slowly only after he reached equilibrium. Swiftly, he fished a crushed pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his jeans' pocket, igniting one, then puffed little circles of white smoke as he swept the forest scenery before him. He smiled ironically as he glanced at the other end of his cigarette, minimized into scorching burning ashes.

    So much for the environmental campaign Relena had been established all the time.

    Gauzy smoke blending in the air, Heero exhaled as he continued observing the drizzling rain, suddenly immersed in his recollections of more recent events.

    His encounter with Relena had always been brief and non-eventful, just like the transparent white smoke, fading as quickly as it was produced. When was the last time he had a civil and proper conversation with Relena? He did meet her through the medias and brief encounters in his work place, but the meetings were only limited to cordial greetings and polite nods.

    He did once spend some quality time with her, however, their conversation always lingering in his mind, and he couldn't help going back to the memory and contemplating it although it was one of the major distractions to his work.

    He had met her in a rainy day, just like this one, a few months ago. She had walked alone in the lawn behind the walls of Preventer Headquarters Building, favouring nobody's company despite her bodyguard's insistence she had to bring them for security reason. Being Relena, she didn't heed their advice, proceeding to do as she wished.

    He had been outside her office and accidentally heard her pleading for her privacy, her young voice filled with anxiety as she explained in strained patience, "Gentlemen, I'm old enough to take care of myself. Besides, I'd be safe here. Noone would ever dream of crossing their path into Preventer Headquarters. Even a professional assassin would think twice before entering."

    There had been a mumble coming from one of the men, then a bang on the table. Heero smirked at the memory. It had to be their first time to get caught in Relena's sudden temper flare. She might look like an innocent little girl, but in reality, it wasn't wise to mess with her.

    It was an understatement she was trying to be meek and modest in front of people, but he often caught her off guard with her fiery persona when she was dealing with annoying subjects. And...oh boy, wasn't he in big surprise when the door swung open, almost breaking his nose in the process, and revealed the very angry Relena?

    Puffing more circles of smoke to the air, he smiled as he recalled their last, real encounter.

    Relena stopped in the middle of her track and turned around only to find Heero standing before her, one hand clutching his stack of documents and the other in front of his face, clearly protecting it from the expected impact of the wooden door. Her face was crimson red as she eyed him back anxiously, grunts sounded from the back of her throat as she struggled for apology, but failed as she couldn't find her voice, much too surprised by Heero's appearance in front of her office. Still, her angry features softened at the sight of him, and as she closed the door behind her, she managed a formal greeting, "How are you, Heero?"

    "Fine." Heero simply answered, although he also couldn't resist the urge to frown upon the stiff greeting. Relena, regardless the formality of their surroundings, had always managed to find the means to be caring and friendly toward him, the traits he realised now he had taken for granted.

    Mild disagreement lingered as the sudden changes registered in his mind. He quietly wondered what had actually happened in the past few days. Oh yes, he had snatched sights of Relena between his work, and uptight was not the right word to describe her. Furious was more of an appropriate word, and it wiped all trace of calm and ease she usually wore even in the most problematical situation.

    And somehow, amidst the awkwardness, Relena was trying to avoid him. Her eyes were anywhere but him, and her body language screamed she wanted to flee as soon as possible. It wasn't like that before. She had always provided a little time for him, even in the most impossible situation when they could only manage a stiff and cordial conversation.

    Of course, Heero was never one to beg for attention, although he started to feel uncomfortable twinge. So he lifted one eyebrow and said his good-bye to Relena, before proceeding to walk to his own office at the other end of the corridor, bouncing the document stack a bit as he balanced it on his hip.

    Sounds of Relena's heels against the marble floor echoed in his ears. It became fainter as she went further and further to another direction. And when a tinkling sound of the elevator reached his ears, he knew Relena was well off his eyesight, probably going to her favourite brooding spot. Something beyond mere irritation must have happened to her, and he had no wish to know. Ah, he never cared.

    A small voice at the back of his head whispered, and he winced, reprimanding himself to keep his mind straight and out of Relena. However, his eyes kept wandering back to the spot where Relena almost crushed his nose, and remembered how much he spied desperation in her hollow aquamarine eyes, the pale colour pleading for him to look further behind her strong, outer posture of confidence.

    Halting in the middle of his step as he reached the corridor with glass windows lining on one side of the wall, his sensitive ear caught the sound of drizzles transmitted through the clear windowpane. Casually tilting his head to one side, he observed the rain absent-mindedly, taking one step toward the window. Silently he caressed the surface with his index finger, tracing the path of rolling beads of rain on the glass, his mind engrossed back in the meaning behind Relena's sad, puppy-eyed expression earlier. So many questions whirled in his head, yet he also didn't possess the means or the understanding to answer them.

    Relena had not wear any sufficient clothing for her protection, let alone taking an umbrella with her. Where was she now, anyway? Not that he cared, but she would catch a cold, sooner or later. Pneumonia could be the worst case here. It wasn't his business, however, and it wasn't his right to pry into Relena's private life.

    He had learnt from his past experience to keep away from her in order to maintain the focus of his mind. The girl proved to be yet the most distracting experience he could ever have. He didn't understand, and probably he would never understand, but every time he heard Relena's musical laughter, or saw her clear azure pool of eyes, his stomach would flip over. May be that was one of the reasons why he had wanted to kill her. She was the source of his vulnerability, exposing his innermost self, and her mere tears proved to be his undoing, whether he wanted to admit it or not. And he had hated the sense of weakness as he was stripped off his own consciousness, his ideals and his very principles of life.

    Blinking twice, he caught a figure emerged, casually striding toward the rose bush Relena had so insistently asked to plant and care for. He was unable to see the figure's face since he was standing on the third floor of the building, but he didn't need visual assurance to confirm that she was Relena. It was definitely her.

    It was her rose bush, anyway. She had been taking care of it without assistance, spending chilly morning air and scorching afternoon sun, helping the roses to fully bloom into glorious crown of petals. Noone cared good enough to plant rose bush in a military headquarters except her, although she had been adamant about it being her only means of escaping stress and keeping her sanity in line, more than once.

    He was sliding the windowpane open as he kept his eyes fixed on Relena, his eyes devoid of all emotions as he watched her crouch before the rose bush and started to stab the hard ground with her small spade, her latex-gloved hand expertly yanking the disturbing weeds.

    Leaning against the windowsill, he was concentrating too much on the vision before him that he didn't even hear someone approaching behind and tap his shoulder lightly to attract his attention. Whirling around, his hand searched instinctively for the non-existent gun usually resided on the empty spot near his waist, frowning when he finally remembered he had left the gun in one of his desk drawers. He couldn't help feeling miffed about himself. He relaxed visibly, though, when he noticed the person who had disturbed his little moment of rumination.

    Trowa Barton.

    The other man smiled ever so slightly as he acknowledged him with a nod, which he returned with a curt nod and a crisp salute as well.

    "I saw Relena in the garden, alone." Trowa started casually, his stance relaxed as he slowly buried his hands into the pockets of his Preventer uniform.

    "And I've been watching you spying on her for the past few minutes, but you're so absorbed you didn't even sense my existence. So much for your sensitive basic instinct."

    The comment bordered on insult, but hearing it in Trowa's calm and soothing voice, somehow it managed to sound like a light form of joke. There was hint of amusement in his voice, but of course, being Trowa, he refused to provoke things further without strong reasons.

    Caught in a somehow embarrassing situation, Heero could do nothing but shrugging off the comment, counting it as non-existent. He didn't respond to what Trowa had remarked, reluctant to start a confrontation with his tall comrade. Besides, he simply didn't know how to respond.

    With Duo, he might have chased him around with a gun or snarled at the mischievous young priest, but with Trowa, he would always took him seriously, even if the other was unexpectedly joking. Even beneath his hidden joke, Trowa had always had something to say about life. His life. Their life. Simply everybody's life, and the nature around them.

    "I'll take the documents to your office. If you want to." Trowa's gentle offer caused Heero to snap his head up in repressed surprise. Gesturing with his chin to the window's direction, he then remarked, "You can go down there and meet her."

    "That's unnecessary," Heero turned down the offer flatly without thinking twice, his eyes avoiding Trowa's emerald ones as he turned on his heels, ready to leave for his office, "Do you want me to kill her? May be I should remind you, Trowa Barton..."

    "You have to do it." Trowa quickly insisted. His face was an uncharacteristic mask as he took over the documents from Heero's grip placidly, and his eyes shining with a sense of camaraderie, "Talk to her."

    Opening his mouth to refuse Trowa's implied order, he wisely clamped his mouth at the end as he challenged Trowa's depth of emerald eyes unwaveringly, but he finally nodded when he witnessed something glinting in the depths. And spinning on his heels, he left to fetch a wide umbrella.

    It wasn't easy for her to accept what had happened to her in the past few days, but she managed to survive. It had managed to shock the hell out of her, however. Even after a few days of brooding and sleeping pills, she still couldn't elude the feeling of being scandalised. She had expected nothing as such was going to happen, but it did. And believe her, it was in her list of her worst nightmares. Well, only recently, she added silently as she dug out some more weeds ferociously and tossed them into the available basket beside her.

    Mud splattered as she stabbed the ground furiously with her spade, hissing and cursing viciously. Somehow she expected her temper to mellow down a little bit with her act, but instead, the action only fuelled her resentment even more. She couldn't believe he would do that. To her! And under a very obvious circumstances, too.

    Blinking her eyes rapidly, Relena wipe her face as trickles of rain were running down her face, and managed to stain the fleck-free and smooth skin with soil. No that she cared. For her, the prospect of playing with mud and sand was one of the most appealing experiences when one was gardening. It was fun, most of the time. Not this time, however. She didn't care, not because it was fun playing in the mud, but because she simply didn't care.

    Sitting on her heels, she sighed, her thought finally calmed; she relaxed eventually, leaving only the pain in her heart. Ignoring the stains of mud on her clothes, she shivered involuntary as she hugged herself, beads of rain seeping into her thin cardigan and chilling her soft skin. An ironic smile spread across her features, she raised her face skyward, tasting the free falling rain, closing her damp eyes.

    I would not cry now.

    Relena only opened her eyes when she didn't feel the rain plummeting on her face anymore. Mildly surprised, she only raised her eyebrows as her eyes encountered a red thing, a very bright red object to be precise.

    The rich colour insulting her eyes, she looked away from it and turned back only to meet Heero's intense azure orbs. She was more than ready to scold him for disturbing her reverie, and yet her annoyance melted quickly into awe. She never expected Heero to be there with her. Especially in the moments when she had needed him most. Well, he did, anyway, show up in the moments when the situation had been critical, but it was mostly for the physical, security reasons.

Not for sentimental reasons, she mused inwardly.

    One hand flew to the base of her neck in a defensive posture, feeling the sudden urge to protect herself against the man for no logical reason, her other hand sweeping a wet strand off her face as she narrowed her jewel eyes in scrutiny, drinking the sight before him. Or, should she say, measuring him warily. From head to toe.

    "Oh. It's you." Relena remarked indifferently as she turned away from him, focusing her mind back to whatever task she was doing. Totally ignoring his presence, Relena reached for a gardening fork and dug the hard soil diligently as her other hand working on the stubborn weeds. She would never cry before Heero Yui. Never. And she wasn't planning to break her vow any time soon. Just pray he never saw her tears earlier.

    Lifting an eyebrow at her cold display, Heero planted one hand into his waist and shifted his entire mass onto his left foot, his eyes darkened in annoyance, although his overall stance betrayed none of his dislike.

    Relena's attitude made him think, unfortunately.

    It wasn't common for Relena to avoid him, and never in their four years of acquaintance did she ignore him. She was always excited and happy whenever they met, much to his annoyance and satisfaction at the same time, even to the point of inanely crying one day, when she heard him returning from his ever expanding missions, and jumped onto him, causing both of them to lose balance and fell on the ground, annoying the hell out of him.

    But he did catch her shedding tears, even as she turned away to avoid his eyes. Whatever happened must have grated on her sturdy walls of security.

    Narrowing his cobalt eyes into two slits, Heero scrutinised the slender back of the young woman who once had gladly thrown herself within the range of his lethal gun, tenderness stole its way to his eyes as they marvelled on the long, sandy blonde hair hanging down silkily, beads of rain shimmering, dangling on each end of the thread.

    Tightening his hold on the umbrella's handle, Heero stifled a sigh as he crouched down beside her.

    Grinding his teeth, he hardened his resolution as his shoulder accidentally brushed hers, an urge to run his fingers along the iridescent tresses suddenly enveloping his mind. A temptation it was, her damp but irresistibly beautiful tresses.

    Stealing a glance, Heero almost smiled. She was really beautiful, he told himself. He had always thought she was beautiful, in anyway, and he would never have it any other way. And he was confident other people would have the very same opinion as his, especially after what recent years had presented him with. It was true Relena still had the same facial features; the same sparkling aquamarine eyes, small and straight nose, and the same rosy buds of lips.

    But the recent years had also presented him with a different Relena, whose face and expressions were similar to those of the Relena he had left just after the occurrence of Marameia's madness, but nonetheless different. Her hair longer, she had chosen to wear it into a classic and stylish coil on her nape, fastened by a certain simple diamond pin she favoured more than any other intricate jewellery.

    Her figure ripened, she now no longer possessed the plain figure of a girl, but a curvaceous figure of a woman. And she had chosen her fashion very carefully, reflecting her no-nonsense nature in dealing with diplomatic matters and not-so-sincere-and-older politicians who continued to underestimate her abilities, despite their own lack of wisdom. Heero felt he had to compliment Relena's sense of fashion, which had improved in the recent years. She was no longer a dreamy girl who favoured frilly dress over practical office garb she preferred to wear now.

    However, primarily, she had gained grace and confidence along with her experiences of dealing with difficult people and bureaucrats, who simply had no wish to acknowledge her authority despite her abilities as a minister. Time had been harsh to Relena Peacecraft, but it had also done her a big favour by moulding her into a self-assured young woman. Softness that used to be evident on her face had hardened over the time with wisdom and resolution; calm reigned gloriously over her handsome features. She was no longer a girl pretending to be an adult or a queen. She was a real woman, and a queen, now.

    "Something was bothering you." Heero started conversationally, one fingertip brushing a wet strand, tucking it behind her ear. He could sense her body stiffened under his touch, her hand clutching the spade's handle painfully, eyes widened slowly. Turning around, she eyed him askance, but her expression was softened as she slid off her latex-gloves and slung them on the brim of her basket. Raising slowly to her feet, she wiped her damp face, her eyes never leaving his, as if waiting for him to follow suit.

    "You changed, Heero." She told him melancholically, her eyes wistful as they follow his every movement, although she attempted to shield what she felt by pretending to smooth the wrinkles of her wet skirt. Her crystal blue eyes sparkling for a brief moment, she flashed him a brave grin as she added hastily, "But I do think it's not enough to understand my dilemmas."

    An eyebrow lifted, and a dry, "Why, try me."

    Waving a hand in plain dismissal, Relena gave away a non-committal sigh. Turning away to leave him, she glanced at her watch as she informed him expressionlessly, "I have a meeting in a few hours at Andorra Summit Building. If I go now, I will still have time to have a nice hot shower before getting ready."

    A startled gasp slashed through the air as Heero's hand shot and grabbed her arm in a dead grip, forcing her to halt in the middle of her step. Glaring balefully at Heero, she tried to shrug out of his grip without avail, ignoring the dangerous glint in Heero cobalt blue eyes. The message was clear, though. It was : tell me everything, or else...

    Stifling the urge to sigh her frustration, Relena eyed him indignantly as she finally gave up, silently admitted her strength was not that of Heero's match. Slowly she began to relax under Heero's steely grip and even attempted to cross her arms in front of her chest awkwardly, tugging slightly at Heero's hand since he refused to release her arm in fear she would avoid him once again and refused to answer his question.

    Rolling her eyes at his display of stubbornness, Relena informed him cynically, "I'm not going anywhere, Mister. So if you'll be so kind as to release my poor throbbing arm...your grip crushing it." Wiping a wet strand out of her face, she grumbled in a low voice, "Men,"

    Much to her surprise, Heero lifted the corners of his lips in what seemed to be an apologetic smile, loosening his hold on her. As soon as he released her, she stepped aback, but kept her promise by standing her ground. Rubbing her sore arm, she snarled in an un-ladylike manner, "Fine." Then, inhaling deeply, she told him what happened, although in truth, Heero was the last person she wanted to know about her problem, "Listen to this. Carefully. I'm not going to repeat it. Quatre, ah, the whole Winner family has proposed a marriage. To me." There was a short pause before she hastily added, "Not that you care, anyway."

    His expression didn't waver as what she had expected. She was right, as usual. Instead of getting her answer, she was only presented with his ignorance, and soon disappointment filled the holes of her broken heart. She was *double* broken-hearted. Seeing Heero, with his cold expressionless eyes staring back at her, blank face looking as if he was nothing but a robot, was stabbing her, wounding her deeply. She didn't mind seeing his anger, or even his cold and heartless remark, but she didn't want him to freeze like a stone, uttering nothing but looking at her in...in...in what? She didn't understand. Never could she interpret it. She had never seen him so...so surprised?

    What? Was that surprise she was witnessing in Heero's face? It had to be her imagination. Heero was never to be taken aback. By anything. Especially by things happening to her.

    Still, he didn't say anything, and what she saw just then was gone in seconds. It had to be her imagination. At any rate, it was her fault. She shouldn't tell Heero in the first place. Heartache was all she received. What did she see in a person like him anyway? He never cared for emotional needs. And he was never willing to acknowledge her existence in his world. Mourning her dignity and retreating behind her mask of formality and false smiles were the best she could do to cover her growing love, and hate. Inside, she was hurt, bleeding, wounded.

    Gathering the small amount of pride and courage still left within her, she squared her shoulders bravely in an attempt to restore a bit of her stripped dignity, although her voice cracked as she produced a barely audible whisper, "Satisfied?"

    Nodding, Heero frowned as he put his hand on her shoulder and felt it stiffen under his touch. Was she afraid of him? Was he too rough on her? Was she alright? There were millions of questions he wished she could answer, but instead he was opening his mouth in damned idiocy, asking the question he shouldn't even think about.

    "Do you love Quatre?" he blurted; his fist clenching by his side as soon as he realised his foolishness.

    The answer should come with ease, since she had known it a long time ago, even as friendship blossoming between them as a result of their collaboration in the world of politics and economic. However, as she gazed deeply into his eyes, she found it difficult to tell the once-her-killer candidate the matter of her heart, especially when it was one of his comrades who mattered here. Restlessness tormented her as she took a sudden interest in her shirt's buttons, prolonging her time to answer the simple but difficult question.

    "No." Relena closed her eyes, breathing out her answer along with a rush of air. She wanted to cry, but she blinked the tears away, willing herself not to weep in front of Heero. She didn't want him to stare mercilessly at her as she shattered before him.

    Unexpected relief washed over him as he suppressed the urge to circle his arm around her shoulders and crushed her in his embrace. It wasn't his wish to worsen the already complicated situation she had to endure. And he had been somehow involved in her tangles of problems by asking her the question, he reminded himself inwardly, so he didn't want to add the troubles.

    However, he once again was baffled by his own stupidity, blurting without thinking, "Do you love someone else?" Self-destruct was the only appealing idea for him to do, at the moment. He felt downright imprudent, stupid.

    Aquamarine orbs widened in surprise, she found herself stumbling for an answer, searching her brain for an appropriate response to his blunt question. A warm smile started to spread across her features, though. Amusement warmed her heart, she finally resolved in half the truth. Placing a palm flat against his chest, she tiptoed and whispered her answer in his ear; a slight smile appeared as she caught Heero's astonished expression, "I supposed. Do you?"

    "What?"

    "Love someone?" Relena knew well she was pushing her luck, but she could care less. The moment she told Heero she didn't love Quatre was enough a statement to shatter her cover of indifferent shell. Like it or not, she would demand an honest answer, and it was only fair of him, since he had been so insistent in uncovering her deepest emotions. Feeling like being bold, she jabbed a finger at his chest, her lips curved up into a smile as she warned him gently, "And don't try to run away."

    Permitting himself the luxury of a simple, genuine smile, Heero simply gathered her smaller frame in his arm and tucked her head under his chin, his eyes fluttering close in appreciation as he revelled the silky texture of her hair. He knew she was waiting for an answer, but he would savour the silent moment dearly, enjoying every second of the soft drumming sounds of his heart beating against his ribcage, strange, unfamiliar emotions fluttering, touching him like butterflies' touch.

    He could sense resistance coming from Relena, but instead of letting her go, he tightened his arms about her. Quickly he shielded both of them under the umbrella as she shivered against him, unconsciously snuggling up to the source of his body heat.

    "Where...?" He could sense anxiety in her voice, though the question was lest unfinished. Instead Relena finished it with a reprimanded look and, "I'm not going back with you. Besides, you dodged me. Again."

    Lifting his eyebrows in mock astonishment, Heero countered her accusation mildly, "Am I?"

    "Yes, you are." Nodding in satisfaction to herself, she apparently took pleasure in measuring his reaction, "Don't tell me you don't feel. I know you do. You're human-being, after all."

    Heero needed a few seconds to consider his response. After all, he was in a mood of a light bantering, something rarely came his way, considering his dark personality and people's reluctance to get acquainted with him.

    "Let's say that..." he said conversationally, a hint of teasing in his voice, "I still don't understand things."

    Almost smiling, Relena merely shrugged as she told him, "I knew you would say such things." Quickening her pace, she followed Heero silently. Sensing her willingness to follow him, he tightened his hold on Relena's lithe shoulder and steered her to the direction of a shelter not so far away from where they were.

    His sanctuary.

    It was an old hangar, which had been abandoned long time ago in favour of a newer one just a few metres away. The place was huge, but it was also unbelievably empty. It lacked the liveliness the newer hangar possessed; musty smell filled her lungs as she inhaled the air around her, and her voice echoed against the steel wall everytime she was talking. She explore the space with her eyes as she followed Heero cautiously, her hands flailing before her in search for support as her eyes blinked, trying to adjust in the dimly lightened chamber. She exhaled in relief as Heero's hand grasped hers and guided her in sure strides, commenting on how long he hadn't been able to clean his 'place' that it smelled musty.

    As her eyes adjusted in the dark, she could outline a few things in the old hangar. An old battle mobile suit, possibly was not active anymore, a set of desk and its swivelling chair, and a bunk. All were in pretty good condition, except for the mobile suit. However, it was also pretty clear someone was working on the mobile suit, possibly Heero. Who else? He was the one who had announced the place was his, anyway.

    "I'll turn on the lights." Heero offered mildly as he strode pass the shivering Relena and flicked the main light control lightly. Relena squinted her eyes as a stream of bright light flooded the chamber in a second, blinding her temporarily with its intensity. When she finally managed to pop one eye open, her vision was once again obscured, this time by a large towel as Heero casually dropped it on top of her head.

    "Dry yourself," It was an order. Not a request. She was staring at him in exasperation as he calmly dabbed his own towel on his face, the bunk perched beneath his weight as he perched his bottom on its edge. There was no sense in hoping Heero would talk without sounding as if it wasn't an order to her. It was entirely like him. His arrogance, his pride, everything. Sighing her frustration away, she started by rubbing her hair with the towel roughly, pouring her annoyance onto the innocent golden hair.

    Seeing the vision, Heero hid his smile behind the towel. The woman did as he bid, much to his satisfaction, carefully wiping all wet trace on her skin, although she kept her vigilance, eyeing him warily. He didn't care. As long as she didn't say something that grated on his nerves, she could stare at him until the end of the world.

    Hopping onto his feet, he began rummaging a wooden trunk beside the bunk, drawing out a black sweatshirt, a navy blue woollen garb and two pairs of jeans in the process. Laying them neatly on the bunk, he eyed Relena as he gestured his chin at the soaked fabric that had almost become her second skin.

    The material, Heero noted, had clung seductively on her well-shaped body, and as much as she attempted to stay modest and obscured her ample breasts by crossing her arms in front of them, he couldn't help but marvel at the beauty presented before his very eyes. Shaking his head warily, he chided himself inwardly and discarded his wild imagination. He had never lost control of himself, but he was always in jeopardy whenever it came to Relena. However, logic ruled as he killed his emotions instantly, his mind starting to work properly when he noticed Relena was shivering from the cold.

    "Try these," Heero extended the black sweatshirt and one of the jeans pairs to her, his eyes darting to left and right in search of an electronic heater, "Certainly too big for you, but enough to warm your body." His eyes brightened when he finally found his heater, and as soon as Relena took the materials from his hands, he was busied with the task of setting up the heater. He seldom used it, being resistant against the cold air. Wiping imaginary dust on his damp trousers, he got up to his feet with a satisfied smile, the small fire of the heater dancing as it was reflected on his eyes.

    Relena hesitantly fingered the soft and rough materials and clutched it to her chest, but she kept standing, eyeing Heero as if expecting him to do something.

    "What?" the young man prompted as he proceeded to slide off his own uniform and casually hopped into his own jeans, slipping his arms into the navy blue garb without tying the sash innocently showing his well muscled chest and abdomen.

    Eyeing him perplexingly, apparently for his lack of tact, Relena was frowning as she pointed out, "I couldn't change my outfit if you're looking."

    A healthy tinge of red stole its way onto his face, and Heero, almost gaping at his own uncontrolled stupidity, turned around to avoid further embarrassing situation. This was one of the situations that made him uncomfortable whenever Relena was with him. He actually couldn't control what happened.

    "I saw a lot of people naked in the soldiers' barrack. Yours alone wouldn't affect me." He lied as he tried to calm his pounding heart, heat scorching his face as he tried to dismiss the image of Relena's shapely body that gleefully marched back into the territory of his poor mind. He had no time, and he didn't suppose to think of her that way. She was one of his comrades at war, and that would be all. Apart of that little fact, Relena was an obvious distraction for the peace of his mind.

    "I know, I know..." he heard her saying, but from her giggles, he knew she took pleasure from his embarrassment. He never understood the creature completely. One moment she was sad and angry about Quatre's marriage proposal, but give her one minute, and she would laugh her head off at something Heero would often find silly.

    Heero sighed in relief subconsciously when Relena finally called out, informing him he could now turn around. As he had expected, the sweatshirt and the jeans were too big for her, and she looked like a sweet little girl in her daddy's outfit. Heero smiled at the analogy. The oversized material had certainly hidden her figure well, in spite of the fact that it was of his smallest size right after his sudden growing spurt as he passed sixteen. Smothering laughter behind his palm, he couldn't help commenting, "Too big."

    Eyeing him hopelessly and a little bit innocently, Relena merely shrugged, smiling vaguely as she walked toward him, hands tucked behind her back. "But still it serves its purpose," she responded mildly. Spotting the heater, she changed her course and extended her arms before the device, warming her freezing skin.

    "Mmh...warmth. What a luxurious thing!" she exclaimed, stretching languidly like a cat, pretending she was in her own room instead of in the musty old hangar. Spying Heero from the corners of her eyes, she noticed him staring openly at her; his mouth was a thin grim line, although his eyes were sparkling with something she couldn't quite fathom. What was that? Amusement? No, there was more. There was intensity in his gaze, which made her wonder what it was, but at the same time fascination claimed her. Not as lively as the others, but his eyes were certainly full of vigour, alive. People might not notice this, since it was his mask people usually witness, but Relena knew. Heero's emotions were always radiated from his cobalt blue eyes.

    His eyes were his expressions.

    And people couldn't understand him because they couldn't read the flickering emotions beneath those blue pools of his.

    She saw him turning away from her, perhaps having enough of the sight of her already, tired of seeing her rigid and serious posture. Not a very expressive person, she knew she was. Boring, and only capable of displaying more and more formality. Good at dealing with the matters of politics, but clueless at figuring out how to approach the one she loved. And once she expressed herself, it was a disaster. Who was idiot enough to invite the person she loved to kill her? Argh, what a moron she was. If Heero thought she was weird and didn't deserve his attention, it would be entirely her fault.

    And then there was the matter of Quatre. She didn't forget the problem. In fact, she hid it safely behind her mask, keeping it to herself so that it wouldn't annoy Heero. It wasn't what concerned her most, however. It was how she couldn't refuse Quatre, no matter how clear her feelings toward the man are. It wasn't a matter of personal disagreements. It was a matter of what was the best for her people. If she married Quatre, his oil company would finance her peace and environmental campaigns, helping people to regain their future after the war. Even after the war ended a few years ago, they were still in the stage of rebuilding. She couldn't abandon her people for personal interest. Besides, Quatre was a good man and her best friend. It was just she wasn't drawn to him the was she was drawn to Heero.

    Aaahh...Heero. Her love, the only man that managed to keep her interested after all the commotions and threats he put her through. The man who kept shattering her sanity, despite his threats of killing her. On spot. She knew she sounded crazy, but she loved him. Even after she realised how she had to give him freedom in order to spread his wings and be truly happy, she was unable to forget those eyes, those deep blue penetrating eyes that managed to etch their haunting quality in her mind forever. Heero was like a ghost. No, an angel, as Duo put it, as opposed to his own epithet of 'God of Death'. An angel of death, though.

    An angel, indeed, a beautiful man, he was. Gloriously taller at six feet and three inches than he was four years ago, he was ever striking with his cobalt blue eyes and long regal nose. His young face had been similar to the teenage one, except that his features had grown firmer and bolder, more elongated as he lost trace of his boyhood. And instead of the unruly dark brown mane he usually wore, he had parted and combed his hair to one side in a more sophisticated style that supposed to compliment his mature look, although she noticed he wasn't successful in taming his bangs.

    Relena had to admit painfully she longed for the old messy look making him look ever youthful. The grim line of his mouth would always be there, Relena mused silently as her gaze travelled downward in appreciation, although his sulking habit had gone over the years of maturity. His shoulders had blessfully broadened, and as the lines travelled to his waist, his torso had also slimmed, granting him a body of a swimmer. Did he swim a lot? She bet he was an excellent swimmer, then.

    "Careful. You're drooling, Relena," an amused and very male voice travelled to her ears, robbing her of her reverie in a snap. Flame burning her face, she avoided Heero's shining eyes and focused her mind on disentangling her hair, drying it with the towel Heero had provided her earlier. And a little sense of humour, she added quietly. Not in the most convenient situation, anyway, although she appreciated the change from the totally brooding Heero.

    Something sounded like a pat on the bunk, then a heavy voice, "Come."

    Relena whipped her head to face Heero, although she was still annoyed by his remark earlier. Heero challenged her eyes, his expression calm although she could see trace of amusement in his eyes. He was patting the spot beside him, silently ordering her to sit there, expected her to obey. Sniffed indignantly, Relena pursed her lips as she silently complained in his mind about the chauvinistic streak he display by expecting her to follow him without question. In the end, though, she walked toward him in obligation, sinking her bottom on the spot beside him while kicking off her soaked shoes and drawing her legs up as she crossed them at the same time. Having settled beside him, Relena turned around to face him and challenged him expectantly, waiting for him to say something as she chewed her lower lips nervously.

    Sighing tiredly, he forced her back to face him, slowly raking his fingers through the knots of her tresses and smoothed her hair before finally drying it with his own towel. He was firm yet gentle, and he did it as if he was afraid of hurting her, as if he was afraid he would tug on the fine strands and snap it.

    "Would you like chocolate bar?" he offered politely, still rubbing Relena's hair, his voice calm though there is a hint of friendliness in its the depth.

    It didn't take the rumbles of her stomach to remind her she actually hadn't had her breakfast. And lunch. She was a fool to refuse Heero's good intention.

    "Yes, please." Came Relena's meek answer.

    Ceasing his activity for a moment, Heero stretched to fish a chocolate bar out of the jar on the desk across the bunk, thrusting it gently into Relena's waiting hand. Smiling gratefully, Relena peeled off the wrapper and took an earnest bite, droopily closing her eyes in appreciation, enjoying the chocolate bar in leisure pace. Ever watchful, the simple act didn't escape Heero's ever-vigilant eyes, and he permitted himself a small smile as he went back to his initial position behind her, proceeding to dry her hair.

    "You?" Relena queried between mouthfuls, chewing slowly on the sticky sweet caramel melting in her mouth, moaning her pleasure softly as the tip of her pink tongue licked the sticky remaining off her upper lip. The thing was surely very good. Ah, she didn't know Heero shared her passion of chocolate. She had to ask her secretary to buy her tons of them and supply them everyday in her office. "Not hungry?"

    She careened her neck in an attempt to look at Heero's face, and pouted prettily when Heero's hands forcefully turned her head around so he could finish his task properly. Could he think that drying her hair properly was a mission? Relena mused, a smile playing on her lips. Funny. The Heero she knew wouldn't care to do things as silly as drying hair of a woman. And the more she thought of an answer, the more she was confused by her own speculations. For now, however, she was content with being a spoiled little girl she was a long time ago and enjoying his attention. Once again she tried offering the half-eaten chocolate bar silently to Heero, but the latter turned it down and pushed her hand away.

    "Not hungry." He finally stated flatly, flinging the already damp towel aside as he sauntered and once again crouched before the wooden trunk. His eyes shone triumphantly as he pulled out a soft hairbrush, although his face was as impassive as ever. With the object in hand, he hurried back and began carefully brushed the stubborn knots into smooth tresses, golden and shining under the lamp's dim light.

    Giving up for the moment, Relena held the chocolate bar between her teeth as she took over the brush from Heero's grip and set it aside casually, gathering the thick shimmering hair in her hairs and braided it carefully as to not to miss even one strand. She thought she saw a flash of disappointment in Heero's eyes, but dismissed it as merely her imagination. Frowning, she seized the end of her braid with two fingers, realising the fact she didn't have a ribbon or a clip to secure her hair. Surrendering to the situation, she merely shrugged off the braid and let it fall free on her back, the length reaching her bottom. Chewing on her chocolate bar vigorously, she lifted up her eyebrows, shrugging, and muffled contentedly, "No hair band," And instead of fussing over her hair, she once again tried to persuade Heero to eat some chocolate. Persistent and persuasive were in her list of personality, anyway. If not, how would she become a diplomat? Or a minister?

    "Don't want some? You'll be sorry,"

    Instead of answering her directly, Heero contended himself by asking, "How's the chocolate?" His stance relaxing, he leant on his side as one of his elbows supporting his weight, his eyes never left Relena's full and cherry red lips. Relena nodded and smiled pleasantly, without hesitation answering Heero's question with a question of her own, "Can I have some more?" Heero merely lifted both eyebrows as a response, this time raising to his feet to fetch more chocolate bars, tossing them one by one at Relena.

    Relena caught them expertly with both hands, rewarding Heero with a sweet little smile before settling down with the chocolate bars. Stubbornly offering one to Heero once again, she lifted an eyebrow and insistently pressed him,

    "Eat."

    Although seemingly a little bit annoyed by Relena's ever-persistent nature, Heero didn't turn down the offer this time, gingerly taking the chocolate bar from Relena's hand. However, once he chewed on the caramel, pleasure clearly took over his mind as he silently savouring the sweet taste of the chocolate coat.

    They ate the chocolate bars in silence, saved only occasional glances, contending themselves with the presence of the other. However, the growing silence started to grate on Relena's nerves, causing her to squirm in discomfort as she struggled to find a safe topic to discuss. Finally, when she could stand it no more, she groaned her frustration, "Heero, say something!"

    Lifting a dark eyebrow, the young man whirled his head to face her, his eyes bright with open amusement. Tossing the empty wrapper of the chocolate bar aside, he sighed as he shifted so he could face Relena properly before admonishing her gently, "I'm a man of very, very few words." A gentle smile surprisingly tugged on his lips as Relena's accusing glare settled on him, her lips thinned as she folded her arms in front of her chest, fuming, "Oh yeah, but I'm not in the mood of silence." Sighing, she grumbled, mostly directed to herself, "This is getting us nowhere."

    "Nowhere?" a surprise glint lightened his eyes, Heero repeated after Relena, dumbfounded. But they were getting somewhere, he silently emphasised to himself. He usually couldn't stay in the same room with Relena without arguing over jobs and swearing to kill her. They have, er...different views in regards of their jobs, even though it pointed to the same direction.

    They stared at each other for a moment, before finally broke into giggles and laughter. Oh, well. Relena lost her control first, Heero following her. "Oh, oh!" gasping for air, she clutched Heero's arm for support as she felt herself losing her balance and rolling off the bunk, "The dumbest conversation I've ever had!" She tried to suppress her giggles, but instead she burst into teary laughter, holding her aching stomach with one hand as she wiped away her tears with the other.

    And then it caught her off guard. The soft rumbles of a male's voice. It apparently came from the back of his throat, Heero's throat, and he was struggling to control it. He wasn't successful, though; his effort only caused him to lose his control even more. Doubled over, his body shaking as he tried to muffle his laughter behind the damp towel he still happened to have in his hands.

    Relena knew she was gaping, but she couldn't help herself. The melodious tingles of Heero's chiming laughter were too much a surprise for her to bear. It was...the first time they laughed together, without pressure, without the need to guard the distance between them. Without resentment or conflicts. And it was also her first time seeing Heero in a relax mood apart of his usual brooding expressions. Hell, she didn't even realise Heero was even capable of generating emotions other than anger or annoyance or maddening laughter! And the melody of his laughter, his real laughter, was beautiful, feeling her mind with a sense of peace, and longing. Longing for the time to stop, leaving the scenery like it was now forever.

    Eventually the laughter died, and the mask of seriousness took its toll on him once again. Relena almost sighed her disappointment, but she didn't say anything. It was stupid for someone to laugh non-stop, anyway. People would think him crazy, she thought mischievously. Heat warmed her face, however, when she met Heero's eyes and found him looking straight at her, as if expecting her to say something. Anything. So she inhaled deeply, prepared herself mentally for whatever to come, and tried gingerly, "You have beautiful laughter. It's...very musical."

    She was rewarded with a small, genuine smile. "Ah. I don't know. But you do."

    "Yes?"

    "Beautiful. Your laughter."

    "Really?" Raising her mass on her knees, she braved herself to crawl closer to Heero, "Yours sounded like a chiming bell." A soft laughter escaped her lips as Heero teasingly brushed her already dried hair aside. But she was not prepared for what Heero did next. Grabbing her waist, he pulled her down on top of him, his eyes searching as they stumbled together on top of each other. She sucked a deep breath as she felt Heero's lips resting on hers, brushing them with feathery touch.

    "Heero, wha...?" she struggled to free herself from his pinning arm, but she found her strength was not a match to Heero's. Sighing in pleasure, she finally managed, "Why?"

    "Remains of chocolate," Heero told her impatiently between kisses, "Gotta clean it," Giggling at the lame reason, Relena decided to buy it and returned his kisses, albeit tentatively. It was her first kiss, and unfortunately, unlike politics and diplomacy, she didn't have a clue on how she supposed to approach the matter. Oh, she might as well go bonkers if she made a mistake with this one. She had always dreamt of being in Heero's hand, and she had always kept the first kiss for Heero alone, or at least for a man she might love, in the future. And she always imagined it to be perfect.

    Prayer buzzing in her head, she finally gave into her instinct, closing her eyes tightly as she hopelessly smacked Heero's lips loudly in a short lived kiss, before scrambling up to avoid crushing Heero's body with her weight, flush gracing her lovely face. No way she dared to meet his eyes. That one was one sloppy kiss, she knew it! Nervousness had wiped out all things she had read and planned about kissing, and she refused to humiliate herself even more by continuing the kissing session. Who knew what Heero might be thinking at the moment? She doubted Heero was more experienced than she was, but noone ever knew, anyway. Always mysterious, he was.

    Chewing her lower lip anxiously, she curled her fingers in front of her mouth, worriedly waiting for Heero to voice his displeasure. But the more she waited, the more her curiosity nudged her, persuading her to turn around and find Heero's reactions by herself. As the sound of low breathing travelling to her ears, her curiosity piqued, but she managed to keep it at bay, clenching her sweatshirt in a handful as she turned her face away, avoiding Heero's gaze.

    It took only a whisper of her name to break her wall of defences, though.

    "Relena..."

    "Relena."

    Face crimson in renewed embarrassment, Relena faced the source of the low baritone, but her eyes widened as she attempted to hold her laughter upon witnessing the vision before her. Heero. He kept laying there, limbs sprawled around; his eyes stared unfocusedly on the ceiling. His mouth half opened, he was breathing lowly in regular intervals; his nose flared with each breath he took. And his face...it was red, even redder than a cooked lobster! And he looked...so sinfully cute with the opening of his garb widely apart, revealing his well-toned body. He had never been cuter than he was now, with his hair tousled and face blushing furiously, shamelessly admitting his excitement.

    "That was..."he continued breathlessly, his eyes fixed lazily on hers, "the best...the first..." then, as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over his head, he snapped out of his trance and snarled viciously at her, scrambling up into sitting position. He groaned, "Tell me, Relena. Why do you always have to haunt me? Even in my waking time. Sometimes I don't even understand myself anymore."

    Smiling, Relena braved herself and approached him carefully, placing her palm flatly on his cheek as she crawled closer. So this was his first time, too. Shouldn't have worried too much. A wicked smile curved her lips as she thought of what would happen when two inexperienced people got together and experimented. Perhaps even more excitement? Delight filled her mind as giddiness engulfed her, spinning her head as her blue aquamarine eyes settled on his half open mouth.

    "You know what, Heero?" she told him gently, her thumb kneading his cheek tenderly, "Sometimes people have to understand their nightmare first before they understand their dreams."

    His lips stretched into a smile, Heero settled his own hand on top of Relena's. Thinking Heero might want her to pull it away, she drew it gently, but she gasped softly when he restrained her, clutching her hand so it wouldn't slip away. Instead he twisted her hand and kissed the upturned palm tenderly, his lips a lingering warmth. Smiling against her palm, he declared innocently, "Definitely a princess' hand. So soft, and no calluses."

    Blushing gloriously, Relena couldn't shake the feeling of helplessness as she sighed, "Couldn't be helped. I rarely do manual labour, anyway." However, as her embarrassment peaked, she finally pulled her hand away, snapping in her nervousness, "Heero, quit playing! It's not like you at all!"

    Heero squared his shoulders as he looked back into Relena's eyes; his face grew more serious within seconds. "I don't know," he answered honestly, his eyes searching. "Tell me."

    "How could I tell you? I can't read your mind in any way." Relena wailed her frustration, flailing her arms as she struggled for a more appropriate answer. "The kiss...I don't even know if we're doing the right thing. But it's not wise, I think. Quatre...you know that he proposed, and I haven't deci..."

    "Stop mentioning Quatre's name." Heero's calm remark succeeded in stopping Relena's babble, "I know what's happening between the two of you, but it's only us, right now. There's nobody else."

    A heavy sigh and an impatient, "I know."

    But as much as she wanted to be together with Heero, she had to choose her path with care. If Heero had acted this way before Quatre proposed to her, the story would be different. She would gladly succumb to his every whim, even following him around. But he came too late, and there was a nation to consider. Even the one little kiss she had just shared was a grave mistake, something that shouldn't happen between them.

    "Relena?"

    "Mm?"

    A gentle kiss sent currents of electricity down her spine, and before she knew it, she closed her eyes in pleasure, a soft moan escaping her lips as she savoured the simple little act. When she finally opened her eyes, she found herself staring into the depths of Heero's cobalt blue eyes, the colour becoming exceptionally bluer with sparks of life she never witnessed in him before.

    "Don't think."

    "I didn't think." She objected.

    "Yes, you are." Came the smug reply.

    From then on, her voice stopped to obey her. The magic of Heero's intense gaze had numbed her, both her hands limped by her sides as Heero's hands sneaked up and found their ways to her lower jaw, cupping it gently as his thumbs tilted her face in an angle, climbing up the bunk as he settled one knee on the mattress without releasing her eyes.

    She waited and waited, didn't dare to breathe as he lowered his face and brushed her lips with his own testily, experimentally. The kiss was simple and innocent, without passion that was usually accompanied by lust. But it contained something, something precious, which could only be understood between them, and yet they couldn't explain it by words. It felt right that way. They didn't feel the need to break the moment with words.

    Warmth pooling in the pit of their stomach, they roamed each other's lips without venturing beyond and after, keeping the action straightforward and undemanding. Measuring the other's pace as they heightened their exploration, they waited until the other was comfortable before proceeding with their moves. The mutual understanding guided them as they deepened their kiss, Heero nibbling Relena's lower lips as she circled her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. Smiling against his lips, Relena savoured the remaining taste of chocolate smearing them, licking them earnestly, and positioning her hands on his chest as she slid them down.

    "Sweet, sweet Heero..." she whispered the words for his ears only, her smile growing when she caught his puzzled expression.

    "Like chocolate?" he finished the sentence for her, drawing soft giggles from her.

    Shushing him, Relena continued her exploration, this time even bolder, running the tip of her pink tongue along the barrier of his teeth as she slipped her hand under his garment, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath. Sucking a great deal of cold air, Heero kept his eyes open as he stroke Relena's tongue with his own, thrusting and intertwining, caressing the velvety wall of her mouth. Feeling the blood in his veins pulsed wildly, he groaned against her lips, tightening one fist around her golden tresses, his other hand circling her waist and lifting her up as he rose to his feet at the same time, bringing her mass up with him.

    Guided by instincts, she clung to him desperately while rising her legs and circling them securely around Heero's waist, fastening her position. Her breath low and ragged, she clasped Heero's neck with her arms, refusing to let it go, her mouth hungrily sought for his. She never knew kissing someone felt this good. And she thought first kiss would usually be disastrous, even when she planned it. But with no planning and all, what she experienced was the contrary.

    Relena hated to break the kiss, but she knew somebody had to stop it before something they regretted happened. And she didn't want it to happen. So, albeit reluctantly, she pulled from the kiss; her chest was heaving up and down, cheeks flushing adorably, her lips red and swollen. She almost smiled and gazed back wistfully as she noticed longing and disappointment in his eyes, though she knew he tried to conceal it beneath cold exterior. Heero kept their eye contacts as he balanced her mass in his arms, this time supporting her bottom, lifting her up to a slightly higher position than his.

    "Again. Relena." He commanded her huskily, but she shook her head. She couldn't predict what would happen next if they continued, which was...ironic. Now that she got her dream cradled in her arms, she could do nothing but let it go. Again.

    "No," her answer was firm, but sad.

    "Why?"

    "Quatre..." she explained, almost whispering, "It would hurt him. I have to settle things down first with him."

    "You love him."

    He had pronounced the words in ease, but the intensity in his eyes almost scared her. It almost made her think he was jealous. But with Heero, she never knew. Better be cautious than hurt even deeper.

    "I'm not lying when I said I don't love him." She sighed, gingerly playing with Heero's collar, "But..."

    "You think he loves you." Heero finished her sentence, his eyes slightly softened as he spotted the surprise in her eyes. "Yes," he nodded in confirmation, "He loves you."

    Shrugging, Relena pursed her lips as she replied thoughtfully, "Perhaps, but we never know."

    "He didn't say it to you."

    Eyes widened at the comment, Relena was slightly baffled as she asked him back, blurting without much thinking, "Will you?" The moment she said it was the moment she regretted her decision, feeling very much an insensitive idiot.

    Heero's reaction, on the other hand, bewildered her. It was as she had predicted, but she didn't expect him to act hesitant. Not in her lifetime she dreamt of him considering the matter of his heart in such a long pause. The old Heero would just shrug it off, then walked away to maintain his mobile suit, without much concern to his weight of responsibility in delivering a right answer to the sensitive question. He had matured a lot, so it seemed, in the past few years of their acquaintance.

    Lowering her carefully on the ground, he pushed a strand of hair away from her face as he pinned her with his ocean deep blue eyes, his lips quivering into an ironic smirk. Brushing his fingers in feathery trails on her soft skin, He held her eyes captive as he told her, "I'm not capable of loving someone."

    "Oh. Do you?" her voice a whispery crack, new tears sprang onto her eyes, blurred her vision of the handsome face before her. Clutching the material of Heero's garb for support, she attempted to blink the tears away, willing herself to smile bravely and walk away untouched by the whole calamity of her love life, but she found herself too shattered, too battered to put her mask of cheerful formality back on her persona. But the tears refused to obey, gliding freely on her cheeks one by one; the beads shimmered as the dim light of the chamber reflected upon them.

But you kissed me...

    She had wanted to protest, but her voice seemed to be engulfed by an overwhelming feeling ruling her heart as she tried to look deeper beneath the mask Heero wore and found nothing but emptiness. Sobbing, she looked away; hot tears stung her skin as they made contact with the stirring cold air around her. Slowly she wrenched her hands away from him, taking a step back as she wiped her tears away with the backs of her hands, body shaking from the shock.

    She was playing with fire, and now the fire scorched her heart. Into ashes. And she had no right to cry, or to be angry, or to throw tantrums. She was asking for all of that. As a teenager, it was still understandable if she made a mistake or two, by being oblivious of the fact Heero wouldn't even have the slightest interest in her, but as an adult, she had been an utter fool for believing his heart might change over the time with her love and dedication guiding him. In fact, the whole commotion had brought her into realisation of the bitter truth.

    Heero had kissed her because of his curiosity only. It was the sensation, not her, that made him yield. She had been a fool for believing Heero was finally realising the sole purpose of her existence. This whole incident had brought her into new perspective of her own love life.

    Now she believed that love existed only in fairy tales.

    Love was only for dreamy teenage girls.

    And love was, definitely, not for her, a fully-grown woman with a mountain of responsibilities and a lot of nations to consider, a woman whose life was not hers alone, whose life was in the possession of the others.

    And then, it all suddenly made sense in her mind in one enormous explosion of emotional outbursts. God wasn't granting this man for her. For years and years she had prayed to God for bestowing her the most beautiful love of all, a prince charming who would sweep her off her lonely castle and made her the happiest princess in the world. Sensing Heero's hand on her shoulder, she flinched away coldly, refusing to meet his eyes as she struggled to control her inner turmoil, hands clenched on her sides as she finally answered her own question in self-hatred, hissing, "No, you don't. You never feel, alright." She was well aware her statement betrayed her earlier remark about Heero's humanity, but the bitter reality clouded her with hate and disappointment.

    "No, You DON'T!" screaming furiously at his face, she swung her palm and slapped Heero hard across his face, the impact echoing throughout the chamber. The resonance soon followed by another impact, however, when Heero's own palm connected with her softer skin, leaving red imprinted mark on the creamy complexion.

    Whipping her head to face him, Relena was more surprised than angry. Heero had never laid a hand on her for as long as she could remember, despite the fact he had threatened to kill her numerously. A hand slowly crept upward to feel the stinging skin, burning with the force of his blow. He had taken no account that she was a woman when he slapped her. Ironically, the blow cleared her head, and she started to think logically once again.

    "Yes, I don't, but I do." A rough male voice startled her and brought her back into reality, its tone sad and painful. A sharp gasp escaped her lips as he wrenched her into his embrace, once again smothering her face with kisses, desperation noted clearly from the urgency of the kisses. "I," he managed to pronounce between kisses, "Don't. Understand. Everything."

    Closing her eyes, she draped her arms gently around his back, surrendering to the force of his male body. Dizziness assaulted her as a familiar male scent invading her senses, causing her whole world to spin. So much happened. Just then Heero had announced he had no capability to love, but he also told her that he loved her. At least in a way. She knew she had to answer him, providing him with solutions to his own confused heart, but she found she couldn't even settle the matter of her own heart. And yet she had to decide something quickly. She knew she had to give Heero more time to contemplate his feelings, but time was drawing near. Quatre would expect her answer soon.

    She had to clarify things first. As Heero had put it, she simply didn't understand...things.

    "You love me." It was a statement, not a question. She needed Heero to confirm this and erase her doubts.

    Sealing their lips in a final, gentle kiss, Heero answered at the end, "Yes."

    "And yet you hate me."

    A nod confirmed her worst expectation. "That's also true."

    "You love me...more than your missions?" she turned away from him, didn't want him to see her reactions when he was answering the question. If he was willing to answer.

    "I...don't know Relena." Came the grim and tentative answer, "You distract me. You annoy me. And you almost kill me inwardly, causing me to feel confused. But in some ways, you're my mission. You keep me going. All the time." His voice was almost expressionless, but it bordered on the edge of desperation nonetheless. Desperate to understand his unsolved inner turmoil.

    "I want to be with you, but you always reject me."

    Silence.

    Either because he didn't want to answer it, or because her didn't know what to say.

    "What if I marry Quatre instead of you? Have you ever thought of that?"

    Another silence.

    "Quatre will make me happy, he is a good man." Holding her breath, Relena was preparing herself for another absence of answer, but she was astounded when she received one.

    "He is,"

    Slowly she turned back to face him once again, her face grim as she raised her hand to touch his face; his skin feels cold against her palm. "Is he? So he is. But what about you?" her voice was barely a whisper as she threw him the pleading look, "Could you make me...would you, will you make me happy?" Holding her breath, she was waiting for an answer. It would be the last question she asked. She would ask no more.

    Heero's face darkened as he struggled for an answer, his fist clenched painfully beside his body. He realised the importance of his answer for Relena's question, and yet he couldn't tell her lies. It would only hurt them even further. Or confuse him. Gosh, he hated confusions with all his might.

    "Quatre...is the man, if you ask me." Avoiding her aquamarine eyes, his answer was barely audible. Inside, he felt cowardly for his own disability to give a straight answer. He was afraid, very afraid. He still couldn't accept the weight of mission he had to endure by accepting the challenge in the area he had not even understood yet. He refused to be a player...in a game of love. "Beside, you have a mission. To the people."

    It was cruel, his answer, and it torn her heart into pieces, but she could do nothing about it if it was his choice. Instead she would put on her bravest mask, smile, and say her good-byes to him before retreating to the backstage of her performance to mourn her lost. Gently removing her hand from his cheek, she gave him her last gift, a tender and lingering parting kiss. She smiled against his lips as she noticed his eyes widened in surprise, but she refused to be carried away by his reaction. Heero loved her, but his love wasn't strong enough for him to leave his past behind to be together with her. He was not worthy of her love. He chose missions over love.

    "I guess this is the end," she announced calmly, her expression unbelievably calm and ethereal.

    Heero was opening his mouth to say something, but she didn't let him. "This is final, I gather." The young man raised his hand as if he wished to erase what he had said, but in the end he lowered it and curled it into a fist, a sign that Relena was free to choose her action. It was not up to him, anyway. He had had his say, and that was it. Relena had given him more than one chance.

    "Every performance has to end," Relena added, smiling, clasping her hands behind her back as she sighed tiredly, "even in a game. Our game of tag is over, Heero. You'll be free of me. Soon."

    When Heero didn't respond to her, she merely shrugged and continued carelessly, "The rain's stopped. Guess it's time to go." Then, with a final grand curtsy, as if she was ending her own grand performance, she existed the old hangar regally, her posture upheld by pride, lonely but by all means strong. Quietly opening and closing the door behind her, she left Heero deep in his thought, silently and hopelessly trying to discern the things that had just happened.

    Ah. Relena had not bothered to bring her clothes with her. Either she forgot, or that she didn't care. Should he follow her and return the expensively tailored designer suit, or simply ignore it? He would return it, he guessed. That was the right thing to do. Running away from problems wasn't his style, and he would face Relena with all its consequences.

    However, as he opened the hangar's side door, he spied Quatre, joyously calling out her name, engulfing her in a big, comforting bear hug that was typical of him. He couldn't make out the other's expressions, but he could sense worry in his stance as he practically tossed the unused umbrella to the hard soil and fussed over Relena, his chatter sounded blurry in his ears. A flare of raw jealousy burnt his mind, however, as he noticed Relena fell into Quatre's embrace in sheer exhaustion, sobbing delicately against the man's shoulder. Quatre, surely oblivious of the whole commotion, took the role of a gentleman and went to comfort her, guiding her gently to the direction of the building.

    And later, as he walked pass Relena's office to his own office, he halted in the middle of his step as he accidentally heard the conversation between the two. He never meant to eavesdrop, but something in his mind urged him to do it.

    "Quatre, I have decided everything..." came Relena's gentle voice.

    "You do?" there was urgency and worry in Quatre's voice, but Heero knew he was trying to appear calm in front of the woman.

    "I...will marry you. Quatre."

    "Relena!" There was joyous laughter from inside, and, "What a wonderful news!"

    There was some more laughter, a happy and an uncomfortable one, before a pause reigned.

    "I...I...make me happy, Quatre! Please, just make me happy..."

    Heero didn't care to hear the rest. There was an urge to kill Quatre, but he knew he had no right. He had made his decision, after all, and he couldn't redo the whole thing and replay it as he wished. It was all too late. No matter how hard he pledged his love to Relena, she wouldn't give him a chance. He had hurt her, after all.

    And he couldn't make her happy.

    But Quatre would.

    Unlike him who was incapable of generating love.

    And as he turned around, a pair of piercing emerald eyes penetrated his barrier. Trowa's accusing glare was telling him the obvious. "You disappointed me."

    Heero, you're one idiot man.

    But it was all only memory. So far away in the corner of his mind. Memory was always like smoke, it would linger in your mind for awhile, but before you knew it, it would dissolve into nothingness forever, leaving only emptiness in your heart.

    Except that certain things wouldn't just go away.

    Everything was over between him and Relena, and yet he couldn't dismiss the vision of her lovely face, gazing back at him in pure disappointment, her shoulders slumped as she walked out of his life forever.

    The smoke would eventually dissolve in the air, but the smell stayed. And what an unpleasant smell it was.

    Heero smiled at the analogy. How true it sounded in his mind, for he could never dismiss Relena from his mind no matter how hard he tried. And here he was thinking back to the days where he would casually threaten to kill her while she actually ignored his threats and continued her pursue. What a pleasant game of tag they were playing. He would run, and she would actually keep up with him. Never it crossed his mind he would lose her someday. To his own best friend.

    Crushing the still burning cigarette in his hand, he ignored his pain when the little spark of fire scorched skin. Seething in a self-directed anger, he hopped down the windowsill, shaking his head rapidly to clear his head. An unpleasant something had just emerged in his mind.

    It was the wedding. It supposed to take place today.

    He had tried to ignore the impact that the whole situation gave him, but it kept coming back with a vengeance, leaving him with a fierce headache everytime it showed its ugly face. A dull and empty ache was throbbing on his chest as he strolled across his kitchen right into his bathroom, his eyes overcast with pain as he stared vacantly at the mission before him.

    Pathetic.

    He just looked pathetic.

    There he was, the great Heero Yui, the past war's hero, staring helplessly at himself as he splashed some cold water on his tired face, dark circles barely visible under his eyes. He had to say he lacked sleep in the past few months. Not that he had to stay up late to finish his job; it was because his mind refused to let him rest at peace.

    The cold water didn't help. Instead of freshen his body and mind, it reminded him of the moment when he held Relena in his arms after the rain incident. Nausea assaulted him, blow by blow of agonizing dizziness managed to cause him to topple off, nearly losing his balance. Gripping the edge on the bathtub to steady himself, he breathed low, trying to calm his suddenly pounding heart. Something went very wrong with his body. Rushing to the toilet, he then crouched before the bowl, throwing up. The smell stirred chains of unpleasant sensations on the bottom pit of his stomach, but there was nothing left. He has emptied his stomach of his whole breakfast and lunch.

    Flushing his toilet, he quickly wiped away the sour residue off his lips, and then headed to the kitchen for a glass of water, only stopping to pick up a tranquilliser. Placing the little white tablet under his tongue, he drained the content of his glass in three big gulps, holding his breath as he sensed the tablet gliding down his throat.

    He went to the living room then, feeling spent to his core. Reaching for the remote control, he sat down carefully this time, afraid to upset his stomach once again, sighing as he turned on the television. The TV came alive with pictures and sounds, but he couldn't make out any significant image. Everything was a blur in his mind. As he tried harder to forget Relena and focus his mind on the moving images before him, he couldn't help but smile when he recalled what his friends had said to him behind Quatre's back. Quatre had been apologetic toward him, but the others had been unsympathetic. Even Duo, the closest to him out of the four, had grown a habit of snarling the word 'idiot' at him.

    Ah, he was under stress. And pressure.

    The TV screen flickered as it went on the next scene, and it was...his eyes widened as he recognised the program. The live coverage of the Winner-Peacecraft wedding! He forgot, but he now remembered someone had actually announced in the office that the event would be aired live.

    His hand shaking, he was trying to change the program, but it was there in every channel he accessed. Never it crossed his mind he could just turn off the television and go. Instead he tried the whole forty-five channels available in the network, gritting his teeth in fury when he found out that every channel aired the wedding. Snarling, he was about to turn away and leave the room, when his ever-observant eyes caught some disturbing details on the screen.

    Slamming each hand on the sides of the television, his eyes narrowed as he drank the scene before him. Something disastrous apparently had happened in the wedding. Murmurs filled the scene; people were obviously gossiping, or panicking. His comrades could be seen mingling in the crowd, including Quatre, trying to handle of a horde of journalists and paparazzi. His eyes skimmed the screen for an image of Relena, but he was unable find her anywhere. His heart pounded wildly against his ribcage as he started to imagine the worst. If only he didn't decline the invitation...

    Relena could be kidnapped by now. Or killed.

    Raged, Heero bolted out of the living room and strode angrily to his room, searching for the damn invitation card for the detail of the venue. Slipping the card into the tight pocket of his jeans, he went in search of a warm pullover, a trench coat and a revolver.

    Dashing out of his tiny apartment in record time, he didn't even care to bring an umbrella with him. Only one thing was in his mind. Relena. There might be some time before anyone could harm her, and she might be lucky if the others already caught the murderer. He, on the other hand, wouldn't be so kind as to let the murderer live. He would hack him into shreds, torturing him until he regretted ever being born into the world.

    "Argh!" he groaned as he twisted his ankle accidentally as he ran down the stairs, but he ignored the throbbing injury and kept running. Relena was more important than a minor injury. He wouldn't, no, he couldn't forgive himself if anything happened to her. This wouldn't happen if he had accepted her feelings at that time. Reaching for his Kawasaki that was parked in the vast garage on the basement of the apartment, he winced as a sharp pain shot through his left leg as he swung it to straddle the handsome motorcycle, causing him almost to lose his balance. After pausing for awhile to catch his breath, he inserted the key and turned it, while trying to start it at the same time. As the power made the vehicle come to live, he tightened his grips around the handles and readied himself for the long ride ahead. Nothing, however, has prepared him for the sight before him.

    "Heero."

    She was there, standing in her wedding gown, the skirt voluptuous and heavy around her feet. The rim was stained black, and she wore no veil at all, shocking locks of auburn gracing the crown of her head instead of her official tiara. She looked very tired and beaten, and it took his whole power not to rush to her and crush her within her embrace.

    Her face was flushing from the cold, her breath frosty, and yet she stayed outside the garage, the downpour drenching her gown. The mass of it clung to her body, becoming a second skin, and she started to shiver as the coldness seeped into her body. But she didn't dare to cross her line unless Heero gave her his permission. Her teeth clattering, she held her hands close to her heart, staring out at him with her apprehensive eyes. Inside she was preparing herself for a snappy remark or two, her heart pounding wildly against her ribcage.

    "Rele...na."

    Heero took a limping step ahead, and before they knew it, he flung himself to her, causing them to fall back, onto a puddle behind with a splash. A startled gasp escaped Relena's little mouth as Heero weaved his fingers into the short locks. She whimpered involuntarily as their cheeks came into contact, a surge of warm, hot breath tickling her ears, sending a rush of shiver down her spine. Wincing, she let out a smile cry as Heero's hands tightened around a generous amount of hair, forcefully tilting her head upwards even as he bore his icy stare at her.

    "Your hair!" he looked at her frantically, his whisper barely audible, "What happened?"

    "I cut it," Relena answered him, her throat suddenly dry. He looked angry and she wondered why. Squirming nervously under his death glare, she moistened her dry lips and added, "I gave it to Quatre Winner."

    "Why Relena, why?!"

    "I...I didn't want to be married to him." She stumbled at her reply, anxiety started to take over the state of her mind. She was sure as hell she would scream the next moment he treated her roughly. Frightened was not enough to describe her feelings at the moment. "So I cut my hair..."

    She sighed in relief when Heero finally released her hair. He seemed to understand. Her body stiffened, however, when he wrapped her in bear hug, burying his face into the crook of her neck. She knew it must have sounded silly, but she was afraid strangling her would be the next step he took. And love him or not, she still wanted to live to see another day.

    But of course, she was being silly. Heero would never kill her. A lot of people had doubted her belief, but she didn't care as long as they didn't say it out loud in front of her. Even if Heero would finally kill him, she only wished to remember the good things about him. Closing her eyes in resignation, she returned his embrace, letting her entire frame to be engulfed in Heero's strong arms. She thought she heard him choking and sobbing, but she refused to believe that the great Heero Yui would cry. Crying was just one of any other tiny things Relena couldn't believe Heero was unable to project.

    Then again, she was proved wrong. Heero did cry. For her. Or at least, he cried for himself. She didn't know what made him shed his precious and rare tears, but she had no wish to know. Being in her arms was enough a satisfaction for her.

    "There, there, Heero..." cradling his head on her chest, she ignored the painful needles of rain and whispered soothing words in his ears. Her expression was softened as Heero intertwined their fingers gently, his usual confidence reduced completely into lonely longing of love and companion. "Don't cry...my short hair is not that bad, right?" she remarked half-jokingly, hoping to restore at least a bit of the spirit he usually displayed. Heero never laughed, but it hurt her even more seeing him like this. She hated it when the man she loved was hurting.

    "But I love your hair." Came his muffled answer.

The stubborn remark brought a small smile to her lips. The smile widened into a big grin as she pictured Heero as a little child, sitting on her lap, wearing his usual stubborn expression. Or not him, actually. She would rather the little child to be his and her son. But of course, reality always had different say in the matter. "The hair could grow back, Heero." She solemnly replied, although she could sense her voice started to waver in laughter.

    A joyous laughter rumbled from the back of his throat and mingled with sobbing sounds as he tightened his embrace around Relena's lithe body, carelessly pinning her beneath his weight. Smiling at his recent antique, Relena ignored the seeping water on her gown and returned his embrace; her smile eventually transformed into chuckles, and later laughter that accompanied his.

    "Forget about the hair, Relena. You're right, it could grow back. But you..." Heero sighed as he gathered her face in his hands, his expression softened as he noticed Relena blushing. "No one can ever replace you. You're...the only one." And then, a smile pasted on his lips, he told you, "But I do insist you grow back your hair."

    "Heero!"

    Carefree laughter rang true in the air as he rolled off her, his bearings wobbly as he pulled her up with him, leaning onto each other as they rose to their feet. Heero couldn't keep the smile off his face as he drew Relena into his embrace once again, his mind at peace at last. He had forgotten how wonderful it was to have a woman he truly loved in his arm, and he had forgotten just how much he had loved her until a few moment ago, when Relena had burst in magnificently in her wedding attire, her expression stricken with worry but beautiful. He didn't realise he longed for her to be with him forever until he met her eyes. Until then he didn't understand the joy of genuine laughter, but he was finally released from the confinement of his logic. Perhaps forever.

    If this was what it was like to be sentimental, he didn't want to stop. Let the time ceased to work, and let the world turn around, but he would never let go his precious treasure. To explore back his humanity and his love was his mission.

    Serious eyes contracted warm and loving ones; he murmured against her lips, "I would never let you go. Never ever."

    Her eyes, her beautiful, aquamarine eyes were sparkling with shimmering tears as he captured them with his own cobalt blue eyes, probing beneath for her unspoken words. Was she coming back for him? He knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness, but he was willing to strive for her happiness if she granted him a second chance. And he told her just what he thought as he cradled her face gently in his hands, tenderly wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

    "I couldn't believe you come back to me, Relena." His voice cracked, dread started to fill his mind with doubts. Would she have him back? Would she love him again?

    Smiling faintly as she joined Heero's hands on her own cheeks, she assured him softly, "I couldn't marry him when there is you. Quatre is kind, but he isn't you. Noone can take over your position in my heart, Heero."

    "Ah...Relena," inhaling the sweet scent of hers as he gathered her once again in his arms, he lowered his face and kissed her softly on her forehead, "Is that true? Is it real that you're going to forgive me, even when I told you that I didn't love you?"

    "Doesn't matter." Relena buried her face into his shoulder, her voice muffled, "I still want you." And then, as she remembered one unfinished business, she raised her eyes in determination, commanding Heero to look back into the pools of blue eyes, "I ask you once again, Heero. And this would be the last. I'll become a nun if you don't answer this properly, although whether you want to answer it or not is entirely up to you." Both of them knew the answer already, but she needed every bit of assurance to ease the doubts in her mind. She cleared her throat comically, an action that caused Heero to chuckle in open amusement, and fixed her eyes on his as she began, "Will...you make me happy this time?"

    A dark eyebrow was raised. "If I don't want to?"

    "Then I simply quit my job and become a nun."

    Heero gave out a tired sigh and smiled as he let Relena go, planting both his hands into his hips as he measured Relena from head to toe. Smiling had become much easier for him since Relena came back to him a few moments ago. In fact, he was on the danger of splitting his face into a constant stupid grin. The grin would damage his image and reputation as a cold person, but...well, what was a reputation without the woman he loved beside him?

    "What a waste." He interjected, shaking his head in mock disappointment, "What I wanted to ask you was actually whether you want to be my wife or not. But since you are so insistent in a single minded answer..."

    A high pitch cry interrupted his words, and before he realised it, Relena was smothering his lips with little butterfly kisses, causing his stomach to roll in a warm and pleasant sensation as he returned the kiss, slowly taking his time to build the passion between them. And there they were, caring about nothing but the other's presence; the heavy rain drenched their clothes as they savoured each other, their eyes closed slowly as they gingerly joined their hands.

    Inside, in the lonely space of Heero's apartment, scene by scene played dutifully as the television set blinked rapidly. The camera zoomed onto Quatre's face, and a voice could be heard from outside the camera's angle, its tone full of curiosity and urgency, "Mr. Winner! What happened to Prime Minister Peacecraft? Is she forced to leave the wedding because of some unexpected diplomacy matters? When will she be coming back?"

    The other three of his companions - Duo, Trowa and Wu Fei - were all ready to deny the questions and lead him out of the Cathedral, but he lifted one hand actually indicating his willingness to answer any questions. Calmly he smiled for his audience as usual, but it was only an act to hide his feelings, for the smile didn't reach his eyes.

    "Gentlemen, it's over. I decided to break any ties with Relena Peacecraft. I realised it is most embarrassing, but that's the truth."

    And as the troops of journalists and paparazzi followed him and his group, an image of a woman, her hair flaming red and her features beautiful, gazing at his back fondly, a smile tugged on her lovely lips.

    Catherine.

    Catherine Bloom.

    In the middle of the bustling excitement around her, she continued watching his back until he disappeared inside the waiting black limousine, tears of sadness shining in her eyes. Quietly she was praying. First for Relena who had decided to pursue her own happiness; the second prayer was for Heero, so he wouldn't hurt both of him and Relena by rejecting her once again; the third was for her brother, so he could find someone to love, and the fourth...

    Quatre, no matter what happens, I'll always pray for your happiness...     The End?