ASTROLOGY 101


Just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder...


We don't own Gundam Wing, even though we tossed a penny in a wishing well and wished on the first star. We were jiped.


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    -Television Broadcast- It has been discovered by Astrologists at the Southern L2 Astrological Observatory that in a unpresidented event, the planets are going to come into perfect allignment this evening around 1:00 a.m. They are expected to stay in allignment for 24 hours. It has also been confirmed that the infamous Haley's comet is making an apperance, passing between the moon and the earth around 1:00 a.m. as well. This combination of events have never been seen in the history of the earth. Many people around the world believe that these two events, which have been seen separately before, will cause many strange occurances such as-- {CLICK}


    Wufei turned off the TV and grunted,


     "What rubbish...people will believe anything these days. They're all weak..."


    Quatre curled up on the couch and whined,


     "I was watching that...


     Trowa, who apparently was also getting into it, jumped up and turned the TV back on just in time to see the newscast fade to a comercial. He frowned,


     "We missed the end... humph."


    They both turned and glared at Wufei who just shrugged and smirked,


    "You weren't fast enough, I guess..." Trowa and Quatre continued glaring.


    Heero, who had been sitting in the chair across the room, lifted his head and asked,


     "Do you actually believe that crap?" When they didn't answer, he just shrugged.


     "You'd better watch out...the mean old boogie man might just come and get youuuaaaahhhhh!!!"


    Quatre jumped as Heero's attempted taunt turned into a startled yelp. Bleu stood up from behind Heero's chair with her now empty water gun, which had been full of ice water. Now Heero's ear was full of that ice water. Bleu poked Heero with the empty water gun.


    "You shouldn't make fun of astrology and...GO TO BED!!! Sara and I can't sleep with you hooligans up and shufflin' around! It's after midnight, for God's sake!!!" She grumbled rather loudly as she returned to her room, which she shared with Sara on the second floor--'the second floor' is rather misleading; it's actully below the first floor. There is also a third floor...the pilots don't know about that floor.


     Duo, who had been asleep in the floor, suddenly sat up and half asleep, yelled,


     "Don't take my parts, you creep... ummm...{YAWN}...grumblegrumblegrumble...what's goin' on..?"


    Trowa shook his head and said,


    "We're going to bed." He dragged Duo off by his collar down the hall. Duo protested the entire way.


     "Bed?! I just got up...I'm too awake to go to sleep. Anybody up for a game of Scrabble?"


    In the living room, Quatre looked down at his watch and yawned. He said sleepily,


    "Yeah, it is 12:30...I'm turning in." He followed the trail of fluffed up carpet that was made by Trowa dragging Duo down the hall to his room. Soon enough, he was followed by Wufei.


    Finally came Heero, who muttered,


    "We need some more rooms up here. We can't all share the same room forever!" As they all packed into the small bedroom, Heero fell over onto his cot. Soon after, he was asleep. Duo continued to complain untill he was beaned in the head by Wufei's pillow. He soon shut up and everybody passed out after that.


    Outside, the sky began turning an odd array of colors...colors the sky would never turn under normal circumstances...The time, 1:02 a.m. I


    n his sleep, Duo mumbled,


    "Umm...leggo my Eggo...stay away...from...my gundam...you ...dirty...stinkin'...brat...humph...huh? Relena? Sure! I'll go with ya on Friday," then sat up abruptly and frowned, "darn...just a dream...Awww...man...I can't sleep..." Without another thought, he grabbed a pillow and took off to the living room, "I'll watch a little TV...that'll make me go to sleep." In the living room, he set up his pillow and found the remote...before he could even turn on the TV, he was back asleep. Figures...


***



    Trowa, who was woken up by Duo slamming the bedroom door, decided to go get some warm milk and some of Sara's cookies to help him get back to sleep. He turned the corner to the living room, which was dark, and passed by Duo, who was snoring loudly, asleep on the couch, and tiptoed into the kitchen...then came to a dead stop.


     "HUH?!? WHAT THE-???"


***


    Quatre, the light sleeper, woke up and realized he shouldn't have had that last glass of Pepsi before bed. He jumped out of bed and made his way down the hall to the bathroom because, when mother nature calls...you don't take a message. He pushed open the door and suddenly didn't have to pee anymore...


***


    Wufei, a thoroughly aggravated Wufei, begrugedly sat up in his bed and mumbled,


     "Moving around after everyone else is asleep is WEAK!!" He was about to lay back down when something bright caught his eye...A glowing female figure at the foot of his bed. He could only see her back, but that was all he need to see. He yelled, "practical jokes are weak, Sara!!" He lept out of bed and tried to catch the glowing figure, who moved just out of his reach. She motioned with one hand for him to follow and left the room and went down the hall and to the large sliding glass doors in the living room. Wufei considered just going back to bed, but decided he would end all of Sara's jokes altogether...so he followed her outside...


***


    Heero somehow managed to stay asleep the whole time, that is untill he heard a VERY familiar voice. Upon hearing this voice, he sat straight up and his jaw dropped...


     "Relena?!"


***



    Trowa, still in the kitchen, was at a loss for words...


    "Gnomes...there are Gnomes... stealing Sara's cookies! The cookies she made for me!! COOKIE GNOMES ARE STEALING SARA'S COOKIES!!! MY COOKIES!!!" Trowa felt around and found the broom and began swatting at the gnomes, who he was determined to stop. Nobody steals Sara's cookies but him. NOBODY, and he was going to keep it that way. The gnomes looked like knobby old potatoes armed with butter knives and spoons... He, being armed with the broom, obviously had the advantage. After a few swipes, he began getting worried, though...for every gnome he hit, two more would appear and he was getting tired. He thought of Sara baking him those cookies and caught his second wind. "NOBODY STEALS MY COOKIES!!!" He swore to himself that he would defend the cookies at all costs...even if it meant his life!


***


    Quatre, who was in the bathroom, was startled to see that a Flamingo had beaten him to the toilet...or at least to the swirling portal that WAS the toilet... His eyes went wide when the bright pink Flamingo spoke,


     "Ah, be thee a visitor to The Land of the Happy Flamingo People?"


    Quatre just stood there...


    "happy...flamingo...people..?"


    The flamingo shook his head,


    "Aie, laddie...Happy Flamingo People."


    After a minute, Quatre just shrugged,


     "I guess so...sure! Where is this Land?" The bright pink flamingo pointed to the swirling portal.


    "Through here be the Land of the Happy Flamingo People, laddie." Then, the flamingo hopped through the portal and disappeared. Now curious, Quatre just smiled and, after getting on his hands and knees, crawled throught the small portal...


***


    Wufei, growing increasingly angry, followed the glowing figure accross the large strech of land they called the back yard to a large cliff. Once there, the figure stopped and Wufei caught up to her. To his surprise, it wasn't Sara...or Bleu...or anyone else he had ever seen... Before he could open his mouth, she spoke.


     "So, everything is weak, hmm? Your friends are weak, your enemies are weak, and WOMEN are weak? HMMM?"


    Wufei, caught off guard, stammered,


    "Uuhhhm, yeah...", which in hindsight wasn't the best idea.


    The figure, who shrugged her shoulders asked,


    "Well, does that make me weak?"


    Caught off guard again, Wufei said,


    "Well...uhhm, Yeah!"


    The figure replied,


    "oh really," and turned around...Wufei screamed...


***


    Heero, now pale, was appalled to see Relena standing at his bedside. It wasn't that he didn't like her. It was just that he broke out into a cold sweat whenever he saw her. He had done so ever since Sally had informed him that Relena was picking out china patterns and the names of their first three kids. He was just WAY too young to settle down. He was only 17.


    And, frankly, the thought of getting married at any time in his life scared the snot out of him. The fact that she was wearing a wedding dress did NOT help his state of mind.


    "Relena...wha...wha...what are you doing HERE?!?!"


    In response she pointed to the dress with one hand and held out her other, fist clenched tightly.


    And then she opened her fist.


    Laying on her outstreched palm were two wedding rings.


    He immediatly jumped up and out of bed and ran out of the room...and into Relena again. He yelped and ran around her and into the still dark living room only to see Relena sitting on the couch next to the sleeping Duo. He turned around and Relena was behind him...he turned back around and Relena was in front of him... Relena was everywhere... He ran back to his room and passed three of her on the way. Slamming the door, he dove under the nearest object--Trowa's bed--and huddled up under the blanket that was on the bed. He said aloud,


    "Hey, I can stay under here forever, and live off Trowa's huge cookie stash!" Relena's cheerful laughter echoed around him in the room... Heero whimpered and called for help quietly as to not draw attention to his location...which really defeats the purpose...


***


    Duo, now tossing and turning, mumbled,


    "uummmm...somebody turn down the heat...Its hot in here..." Then, he realized he wasn't dreaming...It was hot...but why? Then he opened his eyes...


***


    Trowa was wearing down fast, and didn't know just how much longer he could defend the prized cookies...everything was getting dark.


    "Someone, please protect the cookies...I don't have the strength...I have failed..." The gnomes cheered and prepare for one final attack. Then, a voice from the fridge called out...


    "CHARGE!!" Trowa watched, wide eyed, as the refigerator door burst open and an army of milk elves poured out. The leader of the milk elf army called out to Trowa,


    "Hey mate! We'll hold off the gnomes while you save the cookies!! Run, now, while you have the chance!!!"


    Without a second thought, Trowa sprung up, grabbed the platter of cookies and took off. He bolted out of the kitchen, around four Relenas, who plesantly greeted him, and made it to the bedroom door which was locked. Without another option, he just curled himself up on the platter carefully, as to not damage the cookies, and declared that


    "To get to the cookies, you must answer three questions, complete a quest, and lay a golden egg. Then you gotta go through ME!!!"


***


    {A.N.--take a deep breath-} Happy Quatre was singing a happy song while holding the happy wing of a happy flamingo while dancing in a happy circle with other happy flamingos in a happy field of happy flowers under a happy sky in the happy Land of the Happy Flamingo People.


    Now THAT'S happy! Well, its a happy land. What did you expect?


***


    Heero, still cowering under Trowa's bed, would occasionally poke his head out to check and see if Relena was in the room...which she always was. To keep up his strength, he would munch on a cookie...Outside the room, Trowa cringed. He could sense that his cookie stash was in danger...


***


    Wufei, still screaming, now looked like a pretzel and was hanging from the only tree on the cliff... After he stopped screaming, he took it all back.


     "My friends are NOT weak! My enemies...well they are weak...but women...THEY ARE STRONG! NOT WEAK!! I--ME--MYSELF--I AM WEAK!! NOBODY ELSE except my enemies ARE WEAK!!! I'M SORRY GLOWING LADY...I'M REALLY SORRY...I TAKE IT ALL BACK!!!"


     The glowing, female figure just walked away dusting off her hands...She said, "Now that's more like it." She stopped to see who was next on her 'beat 'um up list' and disappeared...


***


    Duo, after opening his eyes, was quite surprised at what he saw. Either Sara and Bleu had done some MAJOR remodeling while he was asleep or he wasn't in the Cinq Kingdom anymore. First words out of his mouth?


    "Everything's red...and on fire...whoa, its hot in here..." Upon further inspection of the party music, large dance floor, and BIG bar, he could only come to one conclusion.


     "I've died and gone to heaven!"


    He was startled by a voice directly in his ear,


    "You've got the right idea, but you're not quite dead and this SURE ain't heaven."


    He spun around to see a giant demon-thing and asked,


     "Well, where am I?" The demon just pointed up at the ceiling. Duo gaped up at the extremely high ceiling and read from a white banner aloud


    , "Welcome To Hell...population...WHOA!!! THAT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE!!"


    The demon commented,


    "Yeah and it gets bigger every day...by the way, I'm Steve. I'm on the welcoming committee. The Big S is waiting to see you." Duo looked down from the ceiling and shook Steve's extremely large hand.


    Duo had to ask.


    "Big S?"


    The demon nodded,


     "Yeah, you know, Lucifer, Mephesto, the 'Big Cheese'..." Duo looked blankly at him.


     "SATAN...duh." Duo caught that one and nodded.


    "Satan wants to see me...but...I'm not dead, right..?" The demon known as 'Steve' just shook his head, which, by the way, was almost twice the size of a human's head, and red with large horns.


    "Direct all questions to the Big S." Then he pointed at a large group of people in a line. Duo started toward the line and passed all the people who, except Al Gore, who demanded a recount of the people in line, began protesting until they saw 'Steve'. Then, they just let him pass. At the end of the line was a cloaked figure who immediately motioned Duo into a private room. They took seats in a VERY comfortable office and Satan pulled out a large folder. Duo noticed the words written on the front of it--MAXWELL, DUO--and got a little nervous. He figured, 'yeah, here it comes, the whole "you need to change your name. Its been taken--no more God of Death or Shinigami" thing...Aww man...' A voice interupted his train of thought.


    "Well, it seems you have been working under the name 'God of Death' for quite some time now. You see, the original God of Death, the Grim Reaper, has been getting a little slow these days. Time takes its toll, you know." Duo nodded his head. "He has actually been considering retirement, but, of course, he'll need a replacement before he can retire. This brings me to the reason why I called you here. Last week, the Hell Retirement Committee met to discuss a replacement and your name came up quite a few times. They wanted me to call you here to discuss with you a job offer as the new Grim Reaper. What do you say?"


    Duo's jaw hit the floor...


     "Whoa, you want me...ME... to be the new Grim Reaper...?"


    Satan nodded.


    "When the old one retires, and, of course, if you accept, yes."


    Duo was at a loss for words.


    "I'll be the REAL God of Death... WHOA!!!" He thought to himself, 'To accept or not to accept...hmmmm'


***


    Back in the house and on the downstairs floor, Sara sat up on her bed as she became fully conscience. Amazingly, after noon on a Saturday. She stretched and said,


    "What a wonderful morning, don't you think?" Bleu grumbled, chuncked a pillow at Sara and dove down into her bed's covers. After being beaned by the pillow from across the room, Sara frowned,


    "You could have just said 'no'," and continued to stretch. She enjoyed the stretching untill she realized there was something wrong. Around 10:00 a.m. every day, everybody was up and making noise which usually wakes her and Bleu up.


    Today, it was noon and QUIET...


    Too quiet.


    Sara voiced these thoughts out loud and Bleu appeared out from under her hugh pile of covers. She said,


     "I'll check their bedroom--you check the living room." Sara nodded and they both bolted for the stairs to the first floor...


    Upon arriving on the first floor Bleu took a left and Sara took a right.


    Bleu ran right into Trowa...


    on the floor...


    curled up on a stack of cookies...


    outside the bedroom door...


    She decided to leave that one to Sara.


    She cautiously stepped over Trowa and grabbed the doorknob. It was locked...not a problem. Pulling out a nifty lockpick, she was quickly in the room only to be met by...no one... The room was empty...or so she thought. When she sat down on the nearest bed--Trowa's bed--she realized she was wrong. There was a blood curdling scream that made her jump and Heero scrambled out from under the bed. He spotted Bleu, who was startled herself, and screamed,


    "AHHH!!! RELENA!!!" Then he dove back under the bed. Bleu was half confused, half curious, and half insulted. (three halves? Why not?)


    Leaving the room, Bleu ran into Sara, who also looked confused and curious not only about the loud scream, but also about why Trowa was curled up on her cookies and the only good platter. Heero poked his head out from under the bed, pointed at Sara and shouted,


     "RELENA!!!"


    Now Sara was also insulted. She looked at Bleu and said,


    "You gotta see this," and pointed to the living room. They took off down the hall and heard a bump in the bathroom. Curiously, Bleu pushed open the door and started laughing. Sara was curious and looked around the corner and laughed as well. In fact, they continued to laugh for several moments.


    They had seen Quatre, who had been clinging to the toilet. He sat up and said,


    "Where are the happy flamingo people?"


    Bleu and Sara exchanged worried looks.


    Bleu said, "


    We need to gather everybody in the living room and find out just what's going on."


    Sara nodded and said,


    "Oh yeah. Come with me!" Sara led the way into the living room where she pointed at Duo. Normally that wouldn't have been cause for concern but then she pointed out the extremely smug and pleased look on his face...they shuddered. Then she led Bleu to the kitchen...


    Bleu remarked,


    "Kitchen...what kitchen? This is a WAR ZONE!!! ITS GROUND ZERO!!!" They noticed spilt milk and cookie crumbs on the floor and also what looked like tiny footprints...


    "Nah...couldn't be..."


    The two of them returned to the living room where Bleu said, "OK, lets see... Heero is under Trowa's bed screaming about Relena...Quatre is asking about flamingo people... Trowa's curled up on the cookies in the hall...and Duo...well...so far there's nothin' wrong with him...except for that extremely smug and pleased look on his face... hmmm...so where's Wufei?" She looked at Sara who was staring out the sliding glass doors and trying not to laugh... Bleu asked,


     "What is it...? HAH! Look at that, would ya?!" They found Wufei...hanging in the tree on the cliff.


    Sara asked,


     "Will you go get him, or shall I?"


    Bleu said,


    "Oh, I'll get him...you get the others," and took off out the glass doors.


    Sara shrugged,


    "Well, this isn't goin' to be easy..."


    Sara figured that she might as well start with the easiest one...Duo. She went around behind him and shook his shoulder.


    "Hey, Duo...wake up..." No response. She shook harder..."HEY! WAKE UP, STUPID!!" Still nothing. Then it hit her, or rather it would hit him... She chucked as she went into the 'war zone' and retrieved a glass full of ice cubes and water. Mainly ice, but some water. She crept up behind Duo again...shifted his braid just to the right...and poured the entire glass of icy water down into his collar, which caught every drop preventing any from getting on the couch.


    Well, that did it, alright! Duo shot up and ran around the room. You'd think he'd been on fire... Sara doubled over in painfull laughter and fell over on to the floor clutching her stomach. She sat up to see how he was taking it, and saw him jumping up and down in a futile effort to get the ice out of his shirt, which ultimately failed; he only managed to move the ice farter down his shirt and into his pants... That was a sight... Sara continued to laugh untill she was overshadowed by the cold and bothered Duo. His teeth chattered while he asked,


    "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"


    Sara just laughed.


     "I had to get you awake somehow..." He was definately not liking her in that moment...he was just about to accept that job from Satan when he got the cold shoulder...cold back...cold splash! Sara picked herself up off the floor and said,


    "look, go get Quatre out of the bathroom and bring him in here. I gotta go find Heero and Trowa." The confused Duo just did as he was told. He didn't want another cold shower...


***


    After sending Duo on his mission, Sara set out on a mission of her own. Trowa and Heero...hmmm. Trowa was the first one she came across--out in the hall. She gently shook his shoulder to wake him up. Nothing.


    She chuckled,


    " Don't make me get the ice water."


    Trowa began to stir. He slowly sat up and realized that he 'must protect the cookies' and immediately took the defensive untill he realized that he was staring right at the quote


    "Almighty maker of great cookies" and he began the 'I'm not worthy' speech, complete with humming, chanting, and bowing. Sara was more than a little concerned for him...


    She shook his shoulders and said, "Get a hold of yourself, Trowa!" Just as she said, Trowa gave himself a giant bear hug. Sara shook her head..."That's not what I meant, Trowa..."


    Trowa looked horrified.


     "Have I done wrong, my queen?"


    Sara's eyes widened...


     "Queen..?"


    Trowa babbled,


     "yes, my Queen! You are the almighty maker of great cookies! You are the Queen! Command me, Queen," and he bowed again.


    Sara took a moment to soak this all in...


    "Ok, Trowa... answer me this. Why are you curled up on a pile of cookies in the hall outside your room?" Trowa sat straight up.


     "The gnomes! The cookie gnomes! They were stealing your cookies! I was protecting them! The milk elves helped me! We fought in the kitchen! See? I did a good thing! Didn't I? Didn't I, Queen?"


    Sara nodded,


    "Yes, you did a good thing. That also explains the disaster area that is the kitchen...well, sort of...and don't call me 'queen'. Just 'Sara' will do." Trowa nodded.


    "What should I do now?" Sara thought to herself for a moment.


     "Take the cookies," she pointed, " and go in the living room untill I return, OK?" Trowa nodded and stood up. He picked up the unharmed platter of cookies and headed to the living room about the time Duo and Quatre, who was still looking for the flamingo folks, left the bathroom. Duo looked back at Sara who said,


    "Keep an eye on those two," and then she ventured into the dark, quiet, bedroom where Bleu had run into Heero before.


***


    After a quick visual check, Sara found no sign of Heero although she knew he was in there somewhere. She softly called, "Heero..? Are you in here, Heero?" She heard a soft whimper from under Trowa's bed and knew she had to check. Ever so slowly, she crept over to the bed and peeked under. She was met with a loud scream in the face which made her jump and scream. "HEERO, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?" F


    rom under the bed, she heard a loud


    "HUH?" Heero poked his head out from under the bed and said, "That doesn't sound like Relena..."


    Sara grabbed hold of his tank top and dragged him out from under the bed and yelled, "OF COURSE, IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE RELENA BECAUSE I'M NOT RELENA! I'M SARA!!!"


    Heero looked at her and asked, "Are you sure?" Then, out of sheer frustration, Sara absolutely dragged Heero all the way to the living room. He yelped because of the rug burn he was getting up untill she got him to the living room and firmly planted him on the couch next to the flamingo hunting Quatre and the now depressed Duo.


    About then, Bleu was just managing to get Wufei into the house. When Sara came into her view, she yelled, "GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!!!" Sara rubbed her forehead and said,


    "Trowa, help her with Wufei, please?" In a instant, he was up and obeying her command, unleeching Wufei from Bleu's ankle and setting him down in a chair. Then he returned to the loveseat where he had been.


    Bleu, finally free of the Wufei leech, plopped down on the loveseat next to Trowa and said, "Thanks," and patted him on the head.


    Trowa said,


    "no problem, just obeying the queen..."


    Bleu's eyebrow shot up and her jaw dropped. She stammered,


    "q-q-queen..?"


    She watched as Sara just rubbed her forehead again and very frustrated, sighed,


    "It's quite a...long story...and speaking of stories...just what the hell is going on around here?! I already know Trowa's story, so who wants to go first, hmm?" They all volunteered, but Heero was the one who spoke first.


    "Well," he said, "last night I was asleep untill I heard Relena calling my name. That woke me up...I sat up and realized she was standing next to my bed so I bolted out of the room to get away from her. That's when I realized that she was everywhere! In front of me, behind me, EVERYWHERE!"


    Trowa added in,


    "I remember passing by four of them while I was running from the gnomes..."


    Bleu asked,


    "...gnomes..?"


    Before Trowa or Bleu could speak again, Sara said,


    "Back to Heero, please!!"


    Heero muttered,


    "Whoa," and then continued. "I was beginning to panic when I ran back to the bedroom and dove under Trowa's bed. I hid there untill just a while ago when Relen-I mean-Sara dragged me in here...


    " Everyone, even Duo, was listening to him and feeling his pain. Well, except for Duo; he was a bit envious. I mean, how would you feel if you couldn't get away from Relena?


    Sara said,


    "Hmmm, what could have caused him to see Relena everywhere..?" Heero chimed in,


    "I don't know, but I hope it doesn't happen again..." Bleu, who was growing anxious, asked,


    "Now WHAT was that about gnomes, Trowa?"


    Trowa took a moment to think and then began explaining his story.


     "Duo woke me up last night when he slammed the bedroom door on the way out to go to the living room to watch some TV. I decided to get some warm milk to help get me back to sleep and figured, while I was up I might as well get a cookie or two. I like midnight snacks." Bleu nodded her head. Wufei chimed in,


    "Midnight snacks are weak," then thought twice and added, "WAIT! No they're not-no they're not-no they're not."


    Sara's eyebrow shot up at that one and she said,


     " You're definately goin' next!" Bleu nodded again, agreeing with Sara. Then she said, "Trowa, please continue." Trowa nodded.


    "When I got to the kitchen to get my milk and cookies, there were little gnomes all over the place! They were trying to get up on the counter to get to the cookie platter. I had to stop them from stealing Sara's cookies! I fought them with the broom. They were armed with butter knoves and spoons. I had the advantage. I fought them off as long as I could but more and more kept coming. I was almost out of strenght when the Milk Elf Army came out of the refridgerator and helped me."


    Bleu's eyebrows, and everyone else's shot up and they all rang,


    "MILK ELF ARMY?"


    "YES! YES! YES," Trowa nodded violently and yelled, "YES!!! They told me to take the cookies and run, so I did! I ran out of the kitchen battle and to the bedroom. That's when I passed the Relenas. I tried to get in the room but it was locked. I decided to protect my Queen's cookies," he paused and pointed at Sara, "by putting my life on the line and myself on the cookie pile. That's where the Queen," he pointed, "found me this morning."


    The four gundam pilots looked back and forth between Trowa and his 'queen' who had a hand to her forehead. Bleu's mouth just hung open, "This is getting weird...not that it wasn't already. First, the endless supply of Relenas, and now the 'Milk Elf Army' and the cookie queen. What next?"


    Wufei shouted,


    "The evil, 'you're the only weak one' banshee lady!!!"


    The entire room shifted to look at Wufei...


    Sara's mouth moved but no words came out. Bleu's words were enough for the both of them, though. She squealed,


    "What did you just say????"


    Sara nodded uncontrolably and squeeked out,


    "Yeah, what she said!" Wufei just turned white...


    Duo spat out,


    "Hey, you've got our attention, don't clam up now!"


    Wufei glared at him with his worst glare... which would have worked if he hadn't been so pale and funny looking.


     "Fine," he said, "if you must know."


    "I was asleep untill I heard the blond one," he jestured at Quatre," scuffling around. I was just about to lay back down when I saw a girl at the foot of my bed. I though it was you," he pointed at Sara, "playing a practical joke on me, so I got up to teach you a lesson. I followed you, or what I thought was you outside and up to the cliff. The girl asked something like, 'So you think everything is weak, huh?' and something like 'Do you think women are weak?' and then 'Does that make me weak?'. Naturally I said 'yes' to her and then she attacked me!" Sara tapped her chin with her finger and thought intensely about the situation. Everybody else was shocked. "She beat the living snot out of me, twisted me up like a pretzel and hung me up in that tree...I'll never call a woman weak ever again...she said that if I do she'll be back... "


    Bleu finally couldn't help it anymore. She snickered, "Sounds like just what you needed, Wufei!"


    Sara just shook her head.


    "Now, what have you been saying about flamingos, Quatre?"


    "Well, I got up to go to the bathroom and a Flamingo beat me there...then he took me through a swirly portal to the Land of The Happy Flamingo People. We had fun dancing happy dances and singing happy songs and...what?"


    Sara was motioning for him to stop the whole time. Everyone in the room was wide eyed and...uh...not wanting to know anymore about his little escapade. Sara said,


    "I think...you could have stopped after... 'a flamingo beat me there'... Moving right along," Sara motioned to Duo, "what do you have to say, Braid?"


    Duo was staring at Quatre and obviously thinking 'what a weirdo!' when Sara spoke to him. He snapped back to his senses and grunted, "Huh?" Sara just rolled her eyes.


     "What's your story, morning glory?" After his puzzled expression faded, he spoke.


    "Well, I went to Hell."


    <

"What?!?!?!?"


    "Yeah, I went to hell...Satan offered me the job of Grim Reaper when the old one retires...and I met Steve. He's on the welcoming committee."


    Everyone was silent...Sara and Bleu exchanged looks and raised an eyebrow.


    "You wouldn't believe how up-beat it is down there (no pun intended, but, oh well). There was a giant dance floor, kickin' party music and the biggest bar I've ever seen! It was cool, or rather, it was hot!"


    Silence, again... More looks and raised eyebrows, though...


    Sara, with forced cheerfulness, turned to Bleu and asked,


    "So...do you have any idea why these five are goin' totally nuts?"


    Bleu's reply,


     "Not a clue...well except for maybe one..."


    Sara nodded..


    ."The comet and the planets? It was on the news last night," she proded sarcasticly.


    The guys shifted uncomfortably.


    Bleu taunted, "I don't know...maybe it was THE BOOGIE MAN!!!"


    After another long silence, Heero turned on the TV, only to find that all that was on the news was the comet and the planetary allignment...so he just turned it back off. Wufei turned on the radio and heard the same thing. Duo went to get the paper...and the front page story was...the comet and the planets. He abruptly threw it away. Quatre was silent...he didn't know what to say. Trowa came to a conclusion.


     "Well, if we were effected by the comet and the planets and all that, why weren't you two," he motioned to Sara and Bleu.


    Bleu remarked,


     "My ancient elven blood, flowing with the magic of ancestors, prevented me from being effected."


    Trowa perked up,


    "Did you say elves?"


    Bleu smiled,


    "Yeah, but probably not the one's you saw."


    He seemed disappointed. The others were disturbed by Bleu's remark for some reason.


    Sara just laughed. Then she went all scientific. "My theory is, the experimental energy field I put in place last night shielded us from the planetary allignments' effects," then she looked and Heero and smirked, "because I believe in stuff about Astrology so I was prepared."


    Heero glared at her and then turned to Bleu and snorted, "


    So you told her, huh?" Bleu burst into a fit of laughter along with everyone else, that is, except for Heero and Wufei, of course.


    Sara, after laughing, turned on the TV. There was a special on about the comet and the planets. The others laughed and paid no attention, but she watched... -Television Broadcast- People all around the world have called in to report many strange happenings such as hallucinations and delusions, all of which were predicted by the astrologists at the Southern L2 Astrological Observatory. They are predicting that these symptoms will cease when the planets break allignment around 1:00 a.m. this evening. It has also been determined that the energy waves given off by the planetary allignment that are effecting human brainwaves and causing these hallucinations and delusions did not effect women, so guys, hang in there. We'll keep you updated on the situation as more information becomes available. Just keep with us and stay tuned. {CLICK}


    Sara rubbed her chin,


     "Hmmmm..."


    Bleu suddenly appeared behind her. "Hmmmm, what?"


    Sara jumped and spun around, then sighed.


     "Don't scare me in mid-plan!"


    Bleu raised an eyebrow,


    "Mid-plan..?" Sara grinned and squinted and chuckled ruefully.


    Bleu began getting impatient,


    "Well, tell me already!"


    Sara became suddenly serious,


     "Did you see that broadcast just now?"


    Bleu shook her head,


     "Naw, I was laughing at Heero, remember?"


    Sara motioned with one hand,


    "Then listen to this, friend..."


    "Whisper-whisper-secret-whisper-whisper-secret-secret-whisper-whisper-whisper."


    Bleu doubled over with laughter.


    "Are you SERIOUS??" Sara nodded, grinning evily.


    The others stopped laughing at Heero when they noticed that Sara and Bleu were plotting something. Never a good thing as far as they were concerned. Heero looked at them and asked,


    "Ok, what are you two planning?"


    Sara whipped around and stared at him. Bleu and Sara both batted their eyelashes and shrugged,


    "Who...us? What ever do you mean?"


    The looks on their faces was enough to give the gundam pilots cavities. They could almost believe the look on Sara's face, but Bleu's...they didn't believe for one second. These were, after all, the two mistresses of evil. Even Quatre was curious as to what they were cooking up this time. Heero asked,


    "Well...what is it?"


    Bleu shrugged,


    "if you really must know...we just heard something REALLY interesting on the TV..."


    Quatre raised an eyebrow,


    "And what was that..?"


    A grin crossed Sara's face,


    "It seems that the planets and the comet are not going to break allignment untill 1:00 a.m. tonight right...so you guys are going to continue seeing things up untill then..."


    Heero visibly cringed and the color drained from his face. He whimpered, "More...Relenas..?"


    Sara nodded, still grinning, of course.


    Wufei continued to chant, "My friends are not weak...they are strong. I am not strong...I am weak. Please don't hurt me again, glowing lady..."


    Quatre practically jumped up and down,


    "THE FLAMINGO PEOPLE! YAY!" Duo jumped up and down with him screaming,


    "Satan! Yay! Whoohoo!!"


    Trowa threw his arms around the platter of cookies on the coffee table.


     "Not again...but I would like another shot at those gnomes, though..."


    Bleu and Sara exchanged pleased looks. Sara grinned, "Did I mention the fact that I know how to counteract the delusions?" The five boys shifted to look at her, two of them pleased, and two horrified. The third was borderline.


    Heero and Wufei thankfully shouted, "YOU CAN???"


    Quatre looked disappointed, "You can?"


    Trowa was kinda up in the air about it.


    Duo never said anything...he had started to nod off to sleep again.


    Then, the grin disappeared from Sara's face.


    "I can...for a price..."


    Heero jumped up, "What do you mean, 'for a price'? My mental sanity is at stake, here!"


    Wufei added,


     "Yeah! My life is at stake, too!"


    Trowa just clung to the cookies.


     "As long as the cookies are fine, I'm happy!"


    Quatre whinned,


    "but I want to see the Happy Land of Flamingo People again..."


    Duo began to snore...again...


    Sara and Bleu stood stern and proud. Once again, they had duped them for everything they were worth...which wasn't a very difficult task for them. It was fun, though...


    As the arguing continued, Bleu shouted,


     "HEY! If we don't want to wake up sleeping beauty there," she motioned to the fully asleep Duo, "We better take this outside..." Arguing as they went outside to the deck, the four pilots, Sara, and Bleu didn't pay attention to Duo as he mumbled in his sleep...


    "...grumble...gundam parts... ...its hot in here... ...turn down the heat...would ya Steve?"


To Be Continued...





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